Fuck Me Gently || Harry Styles

chapter 40

"It's your birthday?" Indigo whispered in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry shrugged and darted his eyes to the ground, sniffling a little. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to come.

"Harry..." Indigo breathed out, her eyes welling up with tears as she scanned them over his sad face. It was like she could physically feel her heart break a little more every second.

"Is that why you wanted me to come home with you?" she guessed. She felt her chest hurt a million times more when Harry nodded in confirmation.

"I'm so fucking alone," he whispered before biting down on his lip as hard as he could to stop any sobs from escaping his mouth. "All those people know me but I'm still so fucking alone."

It was as if saying the words out loud was a knife to his own chest: no matter how hard his bottom teeth were digging into his already swollen lip, Harry failed to stop a painful sob from slipping past it. Immediately, his hands flew to his face, and another muffled sob escaped from his mouth.

"Harry..." Indigo whispered yet again while her body was frozen and her mind was so blank, she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I'm so fucking lonely, Indy," he cried in his hands.

The very second she heard her name fall from his lips almost desperately, she realised that all he needed right now was comfort.

He needed her.

Before another sob could fall from his lips, Indigo wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing his body against hers. She had her hands in his hair, pushing his head down enough to let him bury his face in the crook of her neck.

"Shh," she shushed quietly, feeling how a tear was rolling down her own cheek. She hoped that holding him tight wouldn't only calm him down, but would also make her hurt a little less. But the feeling of his trembling body against hers only ever made the ache in her chest worse.

She had never seen him in this state, so she had no idea what he needed her to say right now. The best thing she could do was just hold him until it felt like he was ready to let go.

She let him cry for a while, feeling how the fabric of her t-shirt started sticking to her skin a little more every time another tear fell down on it. With every painful cry, she held him a little tighter; until she felt like she was holding him so tight, he could barely even breathe. But every time she loosened her grip even a little bit, he was the one moving closer again. As if he was scared to lose her too.

So she held him as tight as she could for as long as he needed her to; her hands in his hair, her fingertips moving over his scalp, messing up his curls.

Eventually, his heartbreaking sobs turned into quiet ones, which eventually turned into small sniffles. And when his body was no longer trembling and he was no longer gripping her t-shirt like his life depended on it, Indigo finally spoke again.

"Do you want me to stay?" she asked him carefully, running her hands through his hair one last time before she moved them down to his back and lifted his t-shirt up to tickle his back with her fingertips.

With no hesitation, Harry nodded. It broke her heart yet again: he would've normally never admitted to needing her like this.

She knew there was no way she'd go home and leave him behind after this, so she stroked his back a few more times before she carefully pushed his body away from her.

"I'll need to pay for my taxi and tell the driver he can go home, okay? He's waiting for me," she told him softly as she pushed his curls out of his face and wiped some tears from his cheeks.