Where We Belong

Chapter 36

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Ashley's POV—

"Why do you really care so much about what I do? Or don't?" Evan asks me, her eyes almost looking like they're trying to see right through me.

Right through my barriers.

"Like I said. I only wanted to know because of Jaxon—"

"No, that isn't it," she interrupts me, leaning her elbow against the table, resting her chin on her fist. "That's what you told me, but something tells me you just spun up that little story because it was convenient. Because you didn't want to be honest with me about why you really care."

"And what makes you think I cared in the first place?" I just ask her, not wanting to answer her question. My heart pounding harshly against my chest nonetheless though.

"Beats me..." she says as she shrugs her shoulders. "But if you ask me...? It almost sounded like you were jealous."

I just keep my mouth shut, jaw clenching to try to keep myself as calm and collected as I can be.

It bothered me.

Seeing the clickbait—and the idea of Evan being with someone else—bothered the hell out of me. I wasn't prepared for just how much the thought of her being with someone else was going to bother me.

And it caught me off guard.

There are multiple reasons why I don't want to be with Evan, and I even told her I wanted nothing to do with her in that way, so why did I care that she was possibly seeing someone else?

I have no right to be so territorial and jealous.

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel territorial and jealous when I saw that clickbait.

And I'd further be lying if I said I didn't feel nothing but complete, utter relief when Evan explained the situation and told me nothing happened between her and that woman at the pub.

"And that...only makes me more confused...because didn't you tell me the other day that you wanted nothing to do with me? In the romantic sense?" Evan asks me, pausing afterwards. No doubt waiting for me to say something. But I don't. So instead, she asks me, "were you lying the other day when you said you don't want me?"

For a long moment, I don't say anything.

Refusing to admit that I felt territorial and jealous when I saw the clickbait, and especially refusing to tell her that I wasn't entirely honest with her when I rejected her.

But as she continues to look at me, eyes still seeming to try to see right through me, my heart aching and racing at the same time...

"So what if I was?" I say before I can stop myself.

Evan doesn't give me any hint of a reaction. Her visibly swallowing hard is the only sigh of a reaction. "Then why'd you lie to begin with?"

How much am I really going to admit to her?

All of it?

I don't really want to, but with the look in her eyes...

I don't think she's going to drop it anytime soon.

"Because Evan..." I say with a sigh, frustrated with myself for even admitting as much as I did to begin with. "I may want you, but I don't want you."

Evan's face scrunches up in confusion, her eyebrows furrowing. "Why?" She just asks me, something like sadness flashing across her face for a split second.