Imagining Us

Ch.66-Never for This

His words fell over her like a soft caress. 

There was so much longing in them. Esi chewed on her bottom lip as she fought a smile. She decided to ignore the obvious negative– the fact that he wanted to try with her. 

Trying did not guarantee succeeding. She shouldn't let him try with her heart because Esi knew that if he broke it, she would be devastated. She knew that if she made this decision to go all in that she would feel everything. That she would feel so much, and she would fall hard. Because even though he felt sad and lonely and felt broken, Porte was also sweet and caring and beautiful and good. He was much more than she could have ever imagined.

Esi was thinking about it—contemplating it, even, but she couldn't start anything without honesty. Andrew didn't matter to her anymore, not in that way, but was curious to know how Porte knew him.

"Would you ever have told me that you knew Andrew?" She threw his words back at him. "That you got him kicked out of school over me? You didn't even know me back then Porte. You can't do things like that." The words were spewing out of her mouth. "We can't start a relationship on a lie, Porte."

He smiled—grinned, even— and she realized what she'd said. She realized what had slipped.

Esi slanted a look at him.

"I had actually planned to tell you that night you confronted me about Iskakov," he murmured. "But we might have gotten distracted."

She remembered that night with heightened feelings and emotions.

"But you're right. I'm sorry. I still should've told you–I should have told you from the beginning.''

Porte swallowed roughly. 

"You know one of my minors was Psych. That's why I was there at the mixer and I saw you, Elizabeth—your despair. I didn't want to bring it up and have you relive that memory again. Plus, Sommers deserved what he got," Porte spat his name. "He shouldn't have been on campus–"

Esi froze as the last pieces of the puzzle fit together.

His brows furrowed. "Wait...How did Talia know–if she had anything to do with him being here," he threatened.

She probably did, Esi thought, but Porte was so riled up that she didn't want to add to it. She'd been resisting his advances from the beginning, without realizing that he'd cared before he even knew her. He'd only seen a little of what Andrew had done, and it wasn't any of Porte's business. The injustice was enough to make him do something when others just turned their heads.

How could she not want him in her life? How could she not possibly want to be loved by him? Even more so, how could she not want to love a man like that?

Esi pulled away from him and stood with a pensive look. She moved because her feelings were taking over—she needed to breathe, and she also needed to do something. Needed to return something that belonged to him.

"I really wish you'd told me, Porte," she said.

His eyes widened in slight panic.

"Esi...wait. I–"

She pulled a book off of the shelf and stuck her hand towards the back.

"What are you doing?" Porte asked.

She pulled out a soft, small green pouch. Esi opened it and dumped the contents into her hand.

"I believe this is yours." She held the ring out to him.