Miara's Mistakes: Part Two

(178) August 24, 2020

Safe

Her heart felt like it was dropped from the sky. Nasapo niya na lang ang dibdib dahil sa takot at kaba. She felt dizzy and her vision started to blur. This is what happens when fear is taking control of her body.

"Nagkita ulit tayo, Miss!" She didn't have to turn to the guy to know that it was the same one who approached her earlier. Mabilis niya lang itong tinulak at saka kumaripas ng takbo.

The way her heartbeat accelerated is unexplainable. She dislikes this feeling the most—'yong tipo na gusto niyang masuka dahil sa kaba at nahihilo na dahil sa mga nararamdaman. It feels so surreal and scary.

She went back to one of the closed cottages, but this time, she went inside. She feels unsafe outside with all the strangers and drunkards.

Naiiyak na siya sa takot ngunit pinili niyang maging matatag. Hindi niya alam kung paano lalabas dito at hindi niya rin alam kung may masasakyan ba siyang tricycle o ano. Hindi niya rin alam kung sino ang mapagkakatiwalaan niya.

She took her phone with her shaking hands. And despite her trembling fingers, she typed a message to Primo.

But that tiny light of hope was extinguished when a red exclamation mark appeared. Walang signal.

Nasapo niya na lang ang mukha. Gusto niyang ipagsigawan ang pangalan ni Cleo ngunit natatakot na siya. Gumagabi na rin kaya dumidilim na ang paligid.

Being at a public place at a secluded area at night full of strangers who are probably drunk is one of the worst combination she could ever think.

Hindi niya na napigilan ang sarili at tinapon na ang phone dahil sa inis. Sinabunutan niya ang sarili. Hindi niya alam kung kanino siya mas naiinis. Sa sarili niya o kay Cleo. O sa sitwasyon niya.

She trusted another wrong person again. And it feels like she's back to where she used to be—that place in the past that's been haunting her.

Impit siyang napahagulgol. Gusto niyang umalis ngunit wala siyang mapupuntahan. She cold only hope that no one will use the cottage she's using as a hideout.

Mas mabuting dito siya magpapalipas ng gabi at sa umaga na lang maghanap ng paraan. Buti na lang din at nakakain na siya.

Hindi naman kalakihan ang cottage. Sakto lang para sa sampung tao. Air-conditioned din at may mga throw pillows.

Kahit kinakabahan ay pilit niyang pinakalma ang sarili. She couldn't help but feel lonely. She's used to being alone but she never felt this lonely.

The idea that even though she's lost right now yet no one's looking for her is making her feel worse. If her mother cared, she would call Miara and would get worried once she realizes that her phone cannot be reached.

If her mother cared, she would have this tiny hope knowing that someone out there is doing something to know where she is. To make sure that she's okay. That she's not in danger.

Pero wala... alam niyang malabong nag-aalala ang ina niya para sa kaniya. And what's more saddening is the fact that it should be her mother who should be most worried about her. Ina niya 'yon, eh!

If something happens to a child, who rushes to the child first? His mother! Nadapa man o natapilok o inaway man ng kaklase, ang ina talaga ng bata ang unang tutulong.

But that's not her case. So how can she hope and believe that other people truly care about her when her own mother—the one who brought her to the world—doesn't?

Napailing at napasinghal na lang si Miara dahil sa mga naiisip. She's not the sad-girl type, but there are times that she feels like one. And she thinks like one.