Miara's Mistakes: Part Two

(185) August 25, 2020

Forgive

"Miara.." napatili si Miara dahil sa gulat nang may kumalabit sa kaniya.

Napahawak siya sa dibdib nang makita si Cleo. Napailing-iling na lang siya. Paano ba naman kasi at bigla na lang ito sumulpot.

Hinatid nina Miara at Primo si Isa sa kanilang bahay at kaaalis lang din ni Primo. Kaya siguro bago lang nagpakita si Cleo dahil ayaw nitong magpakita sa lalaki.

Miara wanted to feel scared but she feels unusually calm. Alam niyang dapat galit siya kay Cleo... she's entitled to feel that way and to act on it, but she didn't.

"I'm sorry, Miara... I'm so sorry... sabog talaga ako," humikbi si Cleo at napaluhod pa sa harapan ni Miara.

Nataranta naman si Miara dahil sa nakita at mabilis na pinatayo si Cleo. When Cleo got up, she immediately hugged Miara. Nagulat ulit si Miara.

"I'm sorry..." patuloy ito sa paghikbi habang nakayakap sa kaniya. Hindi alam ni Miara kung paano dapat harapin at aluhin si Cleo.

She was wronged yet now she feels sorry for Cleo. Hindi alam ni Miara kung totoong nagsisisi nga si Cleo sa ginawa nito sa kaniya. Pero sigurado siyang gustong-gusto nito si Primo.

Alam niyang hindi siya iniwan ni Cleo dahil "sabog" ito... iniwan siya nito roon dahil gusto nito si Primo. Pero kahit ganoon ay hindi niya kayang magalit.

She understands how love... or strong attraction... can make people do things. It's not right nor justifiable... but she understands.

"Okay lang... sinundo naman ako." Deep down, Miara knows that what Cleo did will never be okay. But it wasn't also a lie. It was half-truth. What happened paved the way for some better things.

At this point, mas pinipili na lang ni Miara na pagtuonan ng pansin ang mga mabubuting nangyari... o ang mabuting idinulot ng nangyari.

"Please... no more away," Cleo said in between sobs before letting go of the hug.

Namumula ang buong mukha nito at basang-basa ang pisngi. She wiped her face before looking at Miara who's feeling a mixture of emotions.

"Hindi naman ako galit."

Cleo smiled and hugged her again. Napasinghap si Miara dahil sa higpit ng yakap nito. She had to tap Cleo's shoulder so she would let go.

"Thank you! Ang bait mo talaga!" Cleo beamed at her. Although her face was still red, her expression was quick to switch. It was as if she's in front of a camera, acting.

Miara only nodded and smiled. Wala siyang galit o kahit anong hinanakit kay Cleo ngunit ayaw niya pa ring sumama rito. She trusted her once and she let her down... hindi niya na 'yon uulitin. Tiyak na katangahan na 'yon.

Despite Cleo's apology, her guards are still up. Kahit pa magiging maayos na ang pakikitungo nito sa kaniya, may kaunting parte pa rin sa kaniya na natatakot.

"And Miara... I'm banned kina Primo," pagkwento ni Cleo sabay simangot. She sighed and messed with her hair before turning to Miara. "Tell him na 'wag magalit sa 'kin... please?"

Miara was surprised at her sudden request. She doesn't want to question Cleo's sincerity but she also can't help but feel that Cleo's main agenda is to be in good terms again with Primo... and not to make amends with her...

"Susubukan ko," Miara assured. Plano niya rin naman kasing kausapin si Primo. She knows about what happened last night.

Narinig niya ang dalawang tagaluto na nag-uusap kaninang hapon. They didn't want to talk at first but Miara eventually convinced them to tell her.

She knows about Primo's warnings. Kahit pa second-hand information na lang ang nakuha niya, siya mismo ay hindi mapigilang makaramdam ng pangamba.

"Susubukan? Ayaw mo lang talaga na maging magkaibigan ni Primo. You don't actually forgive—" Tumaas ang boses ni Cleo at napahakbang palapit kay Miara. It was a threatening stance, making Miara take a step back.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Cleo, mukhang nagulat din sa sariling inasta. She bit her lips and laughed nervously while playfully slapping Miara's arm.

"Hindi naman sa ganoon..."

Cleo shook her head and caressed Miara's arms affectionately. "Don't worry. It's alright, Miara... I understand. Ako ang may kasalanan."

Tumango na lang si Miara, hindi na talaga sigurado kung ano ba dapat ang maramdaman at kung ano ang papaniwalaan niya.

She sighed and raised a hand, hoping Cleo would take it as her cue to leave. Tumango na rin si Cleo at tumalikod na. Miara watched her back disappear in the darkness before going inside their house.