Miara's Mistakes: Part Two

(180) August 24, 2020

Home-screen
Miara's POV

Naglalakad kami ni Primo palabas ng kanilang kalupaan. He offered to let me stay with them again but I refused. Gusto ko lang talagang umuwi, wala nang pakialam kung nandoon pa si Mama o hindi.

Sa puntong ito, wala na akong pakialam kung may pakialam pa siya sa akin o wala.

"Psst..." sitsit ko kay Primo kahit magkatabi lang naman kami. He turned to me with an attentive look. Napangiti tuloy ako.

Hindi maipagkakailang gwapo si Primo. He's alluringly solemn and unbeknownst to him, it's part of his charm. His reticence is like a magnet to people. It makes him mysterious.

"Hmm?" Tumigil siya sa paglalakad kaya ganoon din ako.

"Tayo na?"

His eyes widened and his mouth gaped. "What?"

Sandali tuloy akong nalito dahil sa kaniyang reaksiyon. Hindi ito ang inaasahan ko.

Hindi naman siguro ako nagkamali, diba? I don't think he once mentioned that he doesn't want to "pursue" me anymore.

"Diba nanliligaw ka?" Paninigurado ko, kinakabahan nang kaunti. Baka kasi sa imahinasyon ko lang ang parte tungkol sa ligaw-ligaw.

He nodded. I saw how his throat moved as if he swallowed something hard. Kinakabahan siya.

"Well... tayo na?" Nagdadalawang-isip kong sabi. I want to phrase it as a statement but now I'm feeling uncertain. "Hindi ka naman kasi nagtanong eh... malay ko naman kung paano 'to gagawin." Nagngiting-aso na lang ako para taguin ang hiya.

Tanggal palagi ang angas ko sa kaniya!

He bit his lower lip, trying to conceal a smile but I still saw it. "Okay... let me ask you then."

At least, ngayon alam kong hindi lang ako ang natatanggalan ng angas.

He cleared his throat and spoke. "Miara, can I be your boyfriend?" His voice tender yet laced with anticipation and excitement.

I pouted my lips. The answer is already obvious but I felt like teasing him.

"Hmm... pag-iisipan ko muna." I shrugged at him before walking away.

Narinig ko ang nalilitong "huh" niya bago ako hinabol. "Damn... you're playing with me!"

I couldn't suppress my laugh so I let it out. Pinanliitan niya ako ng mga mata, kunyare nagtatampo, pero nakatakas din ang ngiti niya.

"Joke lang! Siyempre, yes! Yes na yes!" I wiggled my brows at him and playfully nudged him to the side. "Let's seal it with a hug! Saka na lang ang kiss kasi naka-advance ka na!"

This time, he laughed out loud. Tuwing tumatawa siya ay namamangha talaga ako. Mas lumiliit ang maliit niyang mga mata. His nose crinkles and his straight teeth really shows. Madalang lang siya tumawa pero halatang hindi pinipilit.

He didn't waste any more time and stopped walking to hug me. Akala ko ay madali lang 'yon pero hindi siya lumayo. Buti na lang at gabi na kaya kami na lang ang naririto sa gitna ng kalsada.

"Should I change your contact name to Pogi Kong Boyfriend?"

He chuckled and messed with my hair. I pulled away from the hug and faked a frown. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin, kunyare nagtatampo.

"That was your cue to say that you'll change my contact name too!"

Mas lumawak ang ngiti niya. "Alright... alright," he said in a patient tone while taking his phone out.

His wallpaper was a high-resolution photo of heart-leaves with water droplets on the surface. Halatang plant-lover nga siya.

After unlocking it, he handed it to me. Kukunin ko na sana ngunit mabilis niya iyong nilayo.

I frowned at him and squinted my eyes. Siya naman ay napakamot lang ng ulo, mukhang nagdadalawang-isip. Ilang segundo kaming nagkatinginan hanggang sa suminghal siya.

"Don't judge. It's Ciara's doing," mabilis niyang paliwanag nang nahawakan ko na ang phone niya.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ikinatatakot niya. His home-screen is fixed aesthetically. Kulay sage green din ang theme. His home-screen is another photo of a leafy plant that casts a shadow on a beige wall.

The topmost widget is a vertical calendar. Dirty white at sage green ang kulay. Sa ilalim niyon ay apat na social media app na ang cover ng widget ay plain colors imbes na logo ng mga app.

Sa tabi ng apat na app ay isa pang widget na nagpapakita ng battery percentage ng kaniyang phone, AirPods, at Apple Watch.

When I swiped to the next part, that's when I saw the possible reason why he was hesitant to show his phone to me.

"Ako 'to, ah!" Gulat kong sambit, pinipigilan lang na mapangiti. Tinago ko ang kilig sa pagkagulat.

"Yeah..." he turned to the side and cleared his throat. Hindi na siya ngayon makatingin sa akin. "I'm not some creep... it's Ciara who did that..." he trailed off with a problematic sigh.

"But?" I tried catching his eyes. He tried to avoid my gaze but eventually gave up. Literal na hinabol ko talaga at kung saan siya tumingin ay pumupunta rin ako roon.

"But I liked it so I didn't change it," he said in an unusually whispery yet raspy voice while his hands fidgeted.

Hindi ko na lang siya tinukso at tinuon na lang ang atensyon sa mga litrato. I didn't know these photos existed until now. These were taken during his cousin's wedding.

The first photo was candid yet close-up. The photo was taken from the side so it was my side profile that was showing. Diretso lang ang tingin ko at poker-face.

Ang pangalawang picture ay nakatingin na ako sa camera at nakangiti. I remember posing for the photographer for this photo!

Ang pangatlo naman ay candid ulit. Half-body shot iyon at naka-blur ang background. Tumatawa ako at parang main character ang vibes.

"Pretty right?" Wala sa sariling sambit ni Primo. Pinagmamasdan niya na rin pala ang kaniyang phone.

"Siyempre, girlfriend mo 'yan!" Natatawa kong sambit. Ang galing ko talagang magtago ng kilig at kabaliktaran naman si Primo.

His eyes widened for a fraction before turning to the side to chuckle. Parang hindi siya makapaniwala sa narinig. Ang hula ko ay hindi niya 'yon sinadyang sabihin. Maybe it was a thought that he unknowingly articulated into words.

Hindi ko namalayan na nasa harapan na pala kami ng bahay. I faced Primo with a smile. It was already late but I can still feel my energy rushing through my veins.

"Good night, Miara." For some reason, I felt my heart flutter.

I can't remember the last time I felt this way... like this kind of feeling that's actually caused by someone real. Hindi 'yong galing sa mga libro at sine. At hindi 'yong galing sa imahinasyon.

This time, I have a valid reason to feel this way. Totoo na 'to! Hindi na 'to resulta ng pagiging creatively delusional ko!

"Good night," I smiled back. Hindi ko na napigilan ang mga ngiti. "Kung mami-miss mo 'ko, tingnan mo lang picture ko, ha?"

Primo chuckled and nodded. "Yeah... I will..."

Nakangiti akong pumasok sa bahay. Patay ang ilaw kaya siguradong wala si Mama. Bago ko sinara ang pintuan ay sinigurado ko muna na nakaalis na si Primo.

I watched him walk away and only went inside when I saw him disappear in the darkness.

This day was a roller-coaster ride. Literal na maraming ups and downs. But... I'm glad that it turned out this way.