Bairi Sanam: The hate of a lover

Chapter XXIII: Himmat

Tejasvin

I held her hand as we walked home in silence to give her some comfort. She didn't say anything and neither did I this whole time. Sometimes silence is required to calm the havoc of emotions and that's exactly what she needed at this time. She was barely holding my hand back as her grip was loose, and it seemed like she didn't have any strength left in her to do so. I tightened my hold around her hand, fulfilling the strength needed from both our ends. I remembered my mother's words as we kept walking in the darkness.

When the person that matters to you can't put in the same efforts as you, then it is only fair to step up and ensure that you fulfill that gap. It does not make them weaker, and it does not make you stronger, it just makes you two equals.

It also reminded me of the time when Surbhi aunty told me how she had to step up and be stronger for my dad after my mother died. I was just a kid back then but now I understand the weight of those words. In this moment, I couldn't help but praise the incredible woman who birthed me and the other one who raised me, instilling such courage in me. And now, I was holding the hand of another such woman who fought those vile men with nothing but strength. My annoyance, my hate, my irritation towards her, everything aside, I cannot deny that she is a powerful woman and worthy of all the respect.

As soon as we reached her house, I knocked on the door. Hari kaka opened the door and looked at her for some time getting all worried. "What happened bachi?" He asked and Ketaki broke into cries, putting her forehead against my bicep. He got concerned and looked at me for the answer.

"Kaka, let me take her inside first," I said and wrapping my arm around her, I brought her inside. I made her sit on the mat that was spread on the ground and went to get some water for her. Coming back to her, I made her drink it and she took few sips. 

"Is anyone going to tell me what happened?" Hari kaka spoke feeling uneasy. I explained everything to him, and his eyes turned moist.

"I always knew this girl would bring bad luck to this house," I heard an old woman's voice and turned my face in her direction.

"Amma that's enough," Hari kaka said, and I realised that she was her grandmother. Regardless of her relationship with Ketaki, her words infuriated me. I looked at Ketaki who brought her knees closer to her chest and hiding her face, she began crying.

"Why? You adopted her just so that she can bring more humiliation to us?" She spoke harshly and I fisted my hands at her words. "She has done nothing but become a burden on us. At least we could've gotten rid of her by marrying her off but who will even marry her now?"

Ketaki's crying intensified and my ears could not bear her sobs.

"You have said enough," I roared. "You are a woman yourself and you must not say such things about her."

Ketaki didn't stop crying all this while and I wanted to comfort her but being respectful of her household I couldn't go near her. Every time I heard her snivel, it pinched my heart for an unknown reason.

Ketaki stop crying please.

Thankfully kaka sat next to her and taking her in a hug, he began consoling her. Her sobs died down after some time, but she still wasn't in the state to say anything.

"I will see you in the panchayat tomorrow. I will do anything to bring justice to your feet Ketaki," I said, and she finally looked up at me and nodded just slightly. Her eyes were filled with tears, which was an unbearable sight for me. I shook my head in a no gesturing her to not shed anymore tears and she wiped off the ones that were settled on her cheek with the back of her finger. Being assured that she has her uncle with her, I left from there with a heavy heart.

Ketaki

His presence was enough to give me comfort and strength. Two opposing emotions, but it came from the same person. He held my hand as we returned home, which was enough to make me weak and let my emotions out, yet his words gave me power. He stood against the entire village and daadi for me, which spoke volumes about his character.

Since chacha ji and daadi were present, he maintained his distance from me but even from that distance, he didn't fail to instill his strength in me. He shook his head telling me to stop crying, enough for me to notice but no one else.

He left soon after that when I found myself surrounded by chacha ji's support and daadi's disgust. It is different when the hate comes from thousands of strangers versus when it comes from that one person in your own family. I could tolerate the disgust of the entire village but daadi's few words can make it insufferable for me.

"I knew this day would come," she spoke bitterly and left from there in anger.

I broke into audible sobs putting my face down on my knees and clutching his shawl that he had wrapped around me. It was giving me some sort of comfort at this time. I felt chacha ji sitting beside me and he began moving his hand over my head gently until I stopped crying. Lifting my face up, I looked at him whose eyes were moist too.

"I'm sorry chacha ji," I said wiping off the tears.

"Don't be sorry bachi, it is not your fault. You know amma is just bitter with her words," he said, and a tear rolled out his eye. I cleaned it off immediately and the weight of that single tear on my finger felt heavier than one can explain. He has been both my father and mother and only a child knows how much it pains when you see your parents crying.

"Chachi ji," I muttered and hugged him, clinging onto his torso. "Don't cry please. Ketaki can face every harsh thing in life just not your tears."

We stayed like that for some time just being each other's support. As I released him, he got up and went towards his room. I could hear the creaking of the closet doors as he opened and closed it and returned back with a sheath in his hand. He sat next to me on the ground again and I frowned looking at the object that he was holding.

He sighed heavily and said, "I've never had much to give you Ketaki, but I've always tried my fullest to fulfil your basic needs in life."

"Don't say that chacha ji, you have given me more than what I had needed. You gave me parents' love and that surpasses every need in life," I said getting emotional at his words. I've seen him work so hard in the fields even in the scorching heat and calamitous storms just to meet our basic needs. He brought the sheath to the front and taking my hand, he placed it on it.

"What is this chacha ji?" I questioned holding it. I took the sheath off, revealing a sharp dagger that was shining as the light hit it.

"This belonged to your father. He always kept it with him and now I'm giving this to you. It'll be a reminder of your father and a source of protection for you," he said looking at it with love and remembering his brother.

Leaning in closer to me, he left a peck on my forehead and said, "meri bahadur bachi."

(My brave child)