Bairi Sanam: The hate of a lover

Chapter XXVI: Khushi

Ketaki

It's been a few days since my wedding date has been announced and the news has spread in the entire village by now. Chacha ji has been going around from house to house carrying a huge metal plate with several kinds of sweets in it and distributing it to everyone while inviting them for the wedding. It is all so overwhelming for me. The wedding itself is an overwhelming experience but the way it all happened has left me with several unresolved emotions and unanswered questions, starting with why am I not happy about this wedding?

Subhadra and Reva were ecstatic about their best friend's wedding. They were excitedly stitching new clothes for themselves to wear and some for me too as a wedding gift. Tulsi often used to come over and explain all the saamagri needed for the rituals but not being interested in all of this, I would just busy myself in playing with Akarshan.

(Materials)

I was leaning against the door frame looking outside the house watching chacha ji glowing completely in happiness.

"Please do come to my daughter's wedding," he said to Kanta kaki who was standing outside her house. She must be around the same age as chacha ji and lives opposite to our house.

"Ketaki will be the most beautiful bride of Raghavaiah, right Ketaki?" She yelled the last words looking at me as I was standing outside my house. I nodded and smiled weakly at her comment. Chacha ji walked back to the house holding the empty plate of sweets in his hand and placed his other hand over my head.

"Entire village is happy about your wedding. It's been a long time since Raghavaiah has witnessed a wedding and I'll make sure it's the best one they've ever seen," he said cheerfully, and I took his hand that was on my head between both my hands.

"Chacha ji, please don't spend so much on my wedding. People will forget about it in a few days, and you'll be left with no money by the end," I pleaded collecting tears in my eyes. 

"Ek baap ke armaano ki kya keemat hoti hai Ketaki?" He said and I wrapped my arms around his torso hiding my face in his chest. "Let this father fulfill all his wishes. Besides, your parents and I had saved some money for your marriage, and I will be using that."

(What is the worth of a father's wishes Ketaki?)

"Ketaki," I heard Tusi's voice that made me release my hold on chacha ji. She excitedly came towards us holding Akarshan in one and a huge bowl that was covered with a cloth in the other hand.

"Ram Ram kaka," she greeted my uncle, and he greeted her back taking Akarshan in his arms. She turned to look at me and took off the cloth that was covering the large bowl.

"Look Ketaki, I have plucked off fresh haldi rhizomes and mehndi leaves for you. I will make a paste out of it with my own hands for your wedding rituals," she said, and I could smell the pleasant and earthly aroma coming from that bowl.

"See no one's even letting me spend a penny," chacha ji said, and I smiled receiving so much love from everyone. My heart was full of the amount of care everyone showered on me.

"Ouu uu oouu," Akarshan made sounds in his own language bringing all the attention towards him and I took him in my arms. I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead while he kept moving his small arms in the air for no reason.

"Look, even he is excited for your wedding," Tulsi said cheerfully.

The entire day passed by preparing for the wedding events and the evening sun was ready to set into the horizons of the earth. The chaos of people coming and going to congratulate us and decorate the house for the upcoming ceremonies created a turmoil of emotions inside me. It just added to the overwhelmingness that I was feeling so I decided to disconnect from all of this for some time. As the stars appeared in the sky and I found everyone asleep, I walked towards the riverside processing everything that took place in merely few days; how he came into my life and how it changed everything for me since.

Reaching the riverbank, I sat at the edge and picking my skirt slightly up, I dipped my feet into the water. Collecting my open hair in my hand, I brought them to the front over my shoulder and began smoothening them out. It was all so serene as the light of full moon was falling on the water surface. Its reflection was beautifully settled on the surface and it swayed with the movement of water. The white lotuses just added to the grace of water and the silver light of moon made them appear even more gracious. The crickets were chirping breaking the silence every now and then. I was slowly finding some peace in this.

Dipping my hand into the river, I moved it gently back and forth that made water make some sound too in the silence of this night. I looked up while swaying my hand in the water and spotted amma and bauji in the sky.

"A marriage is supposed to be a joyous thing for a bride, but I don't know why I am not happy amma. Are you happy bauji?" I muttered looking at the two stars and hoping they would give me a sign indicating that this is the right decision for me. I busied myself exploring the beauty of the water again when the cold breeze hit my bare shoulders and I shivered. I soon felt something warm on me and I realised that someone has put a shawl over my shoulders in order to cover me.

Tejasvin

Not being able to sleep, I decided to go for a walk by the riverbank to calm myself down. It was slightly breezy today. As I neared the river, I saw a figure sitting by the edge and when I neared a bit a more, I figured that it was Ketaki sitting with her back facing me. I tried not to make any sound as I took steps towards her because for some reason, I just wanted to look at her. I stood at some distance just watching her fingers playing with the water. Her hair was settled over her shoulder revealing her back to me. The moonlight that was hitting her back made it shine. The knot of her blue blouse was elegantly settled on her skin, and it reminded me of the time she had asked me to tie it for her. I chuckled lightly at the thought and wondered how the woman who is capable of doing everything can't do a simple task of tying her own blouse. She shivered with the gust of wind and scrunched her body in response to the cold breeze. I sighed at this lady who was lecturing me the other day about covering myself at night while she was sitting with nothing to cover her.

I took off the shawl that I was wearing and nearing her, I placed it on her shoulders from behind. She twisted her neck behind holding the ends of the shawl at the front and spotted me there.

"Cover yourself properly or you'll get sick. Raghavaiah's cold wind doesn't spare anyone," I said, and she smiled as I repeated the words she had once said to me.

"Have you decided to give all your shawls to me one by one?" She asked.

"Seems like it," I said and taking off my shoes and folding the ends of my sweats up to my knees, I settled myself beside her, dipping my feet in the water as well. We sat there just like that for some time in silence letting ourselves feel calm in each other's presence.

"Can't sleep?" I asked breaking the silence while gazing the night sky.

"Hm, and you?" She replied staring at the stars too.

"No," I said and stayed like that for some more time. "Are you happy Ketaki? With your alliance?" I couldn't resist asking her. She wasn't able to speak up much during the panchayat, but I knew she had some feelings that remained unsaid.

"What is happiness for you sahib?" She asked me in return instead of answering my question.

"I have never thought about it, but I will let you know once I have it figured out," I replied.

"Hm, I saw tears of joy in chacha ji's eyes that made my heart full. That's what happiness is for me. I have seen villagers shower me with love since the announcement of my wedding. That's what happiness is for me. My friends are preparing everything with their own hands for all the rituals. That's what happiness is for me," she pointed towards the sky and continued. "My parents are twinkling watching me right now. That's what happiness is for me."

"In the midst of all this, where is you Ketaki? Shouldn't happiness begin with you?" I asked looking at her whose gaze was fixated on the stars still.

"Is it necessary that happiness has always start with you? If yes, then it is such a selfish emotion. Instead, happiness should originate from within you and radiate to others. It'll allow you to find happiness in everything around you. I am content and happy which allows me to find joy in everything I am surrounded by," she said, and I praised the depth of her words internally. She understood her emotions very well and I was learning something from her too.