Everything I Don't Deserve/Post Malone

•twenty two•

The throb in my head woke me. My dry swollen eyes fluttered open, feeling full of sand from both the alcohol and the amount of tears I shed last night. I was still on the couch and the light in the windows was faintly blue, the sun wasn't quite up yet. My stomach was slightly rolling and that feeling did not excite me.

Suddenly the memory of everything that happened last night hit me and made my stomach tighten even more. I had really fucked things up.

I heard a faint snore and realized I was not alone on the couch.

Austin was at the opposite end, still fully dressed, boots and all. He had his legs propped up on the small coffee table, the top few buttons of his brown plaid shirt were unbuttoned. His camo Marmont hat was over his face and his head had fallen back on the couch in an uncomfortable looking position as he softly let out another snore. I realized he had my feet pulled into his lap, the blanket tucked around them and his hands draped over my legs. There was a bottle of aspirin, a glass of water and a washcloth on the table, an empty trash can was on the floor in grabbing distance. The whole thing made my eyes well up with tears again.

Even pissed as fuck at me and hurt by how I was acting he was trying his damndest to take care of me. God I have really fucked this up.

I sniffled, trying to calm myself down because my stomach had started to roll and I knew I had a world of trouble coming my way. I tried my best to get up without disturbing him but I had to move quick unless I wanted to aim for his trash can.

Austin sat up with a jump the second I moved, his hat tumbling to his lap where my feet were as I threw the blanket off and clambered off the couch.

"Jo! Shit! I knew you would be sick darlin.." he said jumping up and following me. I threw my hand up stopping him as I shut the bathroom door behind me. Nothing about this was something I wanted to share with him. I heard him sigh as I hit my knees in front of the toilet and paid my dues.

"You need me?" I heard him say softly as I gasped for breath between heaves.

"Please no... I'll be out in a second." I whined, clutching the sides of the cool porcelain.

"Just yell if you do baby.." I heard him say, just outside the door.

I was so fucking ashamed and embarrassed. I showed my ass last night and I know I did. I deserve every bit of this self inflected punishment.

When my body was finally done betraying me for what I put it through last night I stood and went to the sink, digging through my things and piling my hair up on my head in a bun. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, trying to rid myself of the evidence.

I took a deep breath and opened the door, Austin was sitting on the couch, he held up the glass of water and shook the pill bottle gently.

"Think you can keep it down?" He said.

"I don't know, but I want to try." I said quietly, taking the pills and downing them with a few small sips of water.

"Austin, I owe you the biggest apology. I was a complete bitch to you last night and the fact that you are here making sure I'm ok makes me feel even worse." I felt my eyes start to sting as he just looked at me, he gave me a small smile, but it definitely seemed sad more than anything.

"You were, hell probably still are, drunk baby. I know better than to let it hurt my feelings. Mostly anyway." He sighed. "I wasnt going to let you hurt yourself or need someone and me not be here. We should get some more sleep before we have this conversation." He said, standing. "Come out and get some fresh air and have a cigarette, it will probably help settle your stomach." he held his hand out to me, I took it, feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet.