Everything I Don't Deserve/Post Malone

•nine•

I had been at the Rev for about an hour when I had called Austin to tell him he could come over whenever he was ready. It was early afternoon, I had wound up sleeping until 11 which is unheard of for me. My head was slightly pounding and I felt like I had eaten a handful of sand for a midnight snack when I woke up. Coffee, Advil and a greasy bacon sandwich from the deli across the street had cured that pretty well though.

The shop was busy, Edie's staff was working away up front as I puttered around in my workspace. I had Austin's clothes out for him to see and a few drawings I had for him to look at for the Gala. It was in October and the theme was a masquerade ball. I had several dramatic, teetering towards costume-y but not to heavily, ideas for him to look at. One including an over the top jacket with a cape that drug the ground behind him with a blood red silk liner and subtle black beaded spiderwebs draping over the shoulders. It was my favorite and I really hoped it was his too.

I heard a tapping on the door and looked up. Austin was leaning against the doorframe with a grin on his face and a Hermes bag in his hand. My jaw dropped when I saw it.

"Is that?" I squeaked. My eyes wide.

"Yep.. good as new.." he said with a sheepish grin. He held the bag up and pushed off the door frame as I scrambled out of my chair and nearly ran across the room to grab it from him.

"My baby!" I sighed as I took the bag from him, he started laughing as I put the bag down on my work table and pulled the purse out.

"Oh she looks perfect, it really is good as new. Austin... thank you. You are totally forgiven. Oh I'm just so damn happy to have her back." I sat the purse down on the table. "Seriously. Thank you for getting it cleaned."

"You shouldn't be thanking me Jordan and you know that. I have a lot of shit to be ashamed of when it comes to all this and you thanking me makes me feel guilty." He said, sinking into a chair. He took his hat off and tossed it onto the table in front of him.

"It was the right thing to do, either way.. I am grateful you got it cleaned. You definitely could have just left it there if you wanted too." I said pulling out the chair beside him.

"There's more.. in the bag." He said, pointing. "I already told you I would have never ruined your things on purpose. Leaving it there was never something that crossed my mind. I'm not that guy.. or at least I don't want to be."

I dug around in the bag and found a small flat box. I looked at him confused. "You didn't buy me this did you... Austin..." I opened the box to find a matching wallet made of the same soft brown suede. It was gorgeous, but this was too much.

"I throw money at things to try and fix them. It's a bad habit. But sometimes it works. I'm throwing everything at this hoping something sticks." He cut his eyes up at me and sighed. I put the wallet back in the box and sat down as he continued.

"I've said some awful things to you, I've picked fights that never should have happened. I've been a dickhead to you in about every way I could possibly be, it never should have been like this and it's my fault. I've just.....I've got a lot of shit in my head I need to work out, and how I'm dealing with it right now isnt working. Nothing about any of this should have been taken out on you, it was never your fault." He said shaking his head and picking at the button on the top of his cap sitting in front of him. "I know you told me you didn't want another apology from me..."

"I was angry Austin. I think we both said things we didn't really mean."

"But it's true. My apologies are bullshit and you had every right to tell me that. You had every right to send your resignation letter that night. I was waiting on it before they even told me you mentioned it. I want to make this right, and when you told me last night you just wanted the old Austin back. It made me start thinking about how things used to be. I want that back too. I'm sorry Jordan. For all of this. For whatever it's worth to you." He finally looked back over to me, still fiddling with his hat, now snapping and unsnapping the plastic strap on the back.