??: Uuh, why are you strapping 2 steaks onto my hips?
??: So you can be more appealing to smell at! So stop bitchin' and help me catch my baby girl, that what I paid you for
??: You hardly pay me at all!
He then pushed him inside the room...all by himself
??: Uh, sir? Is he gonna be ok?
??: He'll be fine, those two always get along
AAAHHHH!!!
He looked at him with deadpanned expression while she was covering her mouth in concern
??: Uh huh, they soooo always get along
??: Shut the fuck up, I don't want your salty ass sarcasm, Mox—!
BOOM! CRASH!
The door suddenly broke apart by a body being thrown out, it was him, he crashed into concrete wall upside and groaning. Luckily for him, he was used to it at this point
??: You alright, dear?
??: If by "alright" being 'nearly getting mauled alive and slashed near my abdomen'? Then yeah, just peachy
??: Ok, I don't want your sassy-ass attitude, how's Loona?
He then pointed at the wolf girl inside the room sleeping while still having the steak inside her mouth
??: Good job! She'll be asleep for about 5 hours. Thanks a lot
He then dragged Loona to her room, meanwhile Moxxie and Millie but mainly Millie, helped him get up and sat him onto the couch
Moxxie: Oh crumbs, look at you. Don't worry I have a first aid kit with me, I'll just get it downstairs
As Moxxie left, Millie then helped him slide onto couch in a sleeping position and she even brought him a large pillow for his feet
??: Thanks, Mills
Millie: You are welcome, sweetie. Just rest and I'll give you some pain reliever medicines, let's just hope that Blitz didn't replace them with sex enhancing pills this time...
He chuckled and got back to relaxing till his eye lids fell, he could vividly feel Moxxie cleaning him up and Millie putting a more fluffier pillow over his head and putting blanket over him
Timeskip
3 hours gone by, he was still asleep but his pain was somewhat reduced. He found out earlier in his life that he had a faster healing than any hellborn. He then felt a hand caressing his head, at first he thought that it was either Moxxie or Millie
But he felt a fluffy tail when the figure walked by him, he slightly groaned and moved to his side as he slowly opened his eyes he saw the familiar figure in front of him
??: ...Loona?
Loona: 'Sup? Had your "cat" nap, pussy cat?
??: [sighs] This again...what do you want?
Loona: [shrugs] Just checkin', I almost forgot what your face looks like
??: ...-_-...This face? The same the face that you bullied for half a decade and you forgot it? Pfft, yeah...way to go, Loona
Loona: Hey, you don't have to be bitchy about it
??: Funny you called me "bitchy", since...
He the sat up and looked at her with a smug look
??: You're already a "bitch" yourself~
Loona: [growls] Don't push it, twerp
??: No I'm not, you started it anyway
Loona: Go fuck yourself!
??: I'd rather not, but you might, hehe. Especially with "Texxy~"
He then made kissy faces to mock her but that just made her more angry and lunged at him. Realizing this, he had a face of utter regret
??: Oh FUCK!
CRASH!
??: Loona! OW-FUCK! Stop pulling my tail!
Loona: If you stop being an asshole, you should've stayed quiet. And looking at my phone?! You're gonna get it, asshole!
??: Skill-issue, doggy. You should've put a better password than "2468"!
Their squabble turned into a wrestling match to whoever gets to punch first. Unfortunately for them it's neither, as they both had the same strength despite him having the more flexible advantage
??: What kind of protein shake did you use to buff those arms, cunt?!
Loona: The same that you use on your bathroom, ass wipe
??: ...Viagra?
Loona: What?...N-No! It's —
He used this distraction to throw her into the floor Jiu-Jitsu style, but he chose to throw her onto his fallen pillows and blanket
He didn't intend to hurt her, just teach her a lesson
Loona: [Panting]...Fuck! I loose to a pipsqueak!
??: Yeah...and never forget that
Loona: [rolls her eyes] Fine, you win, for now
As he collapsed beside the couch, both of them heard loud footsteps on the other side of the door. As the door bust's open, Blitz, Moxxie and Millie saw the carnage inside the room
Blitzø: Ok, what the fuck happened?!
Moxxie: Oh crumbs...
Millie: It's like a firenado went through this room
Blitzø then looked at the two with a confused and angry look
Blitzø: What did the two of you do?!
Loona/??: Fucking/Fighting
Both looked at each other but they had two expressions, Loona was looking smug while He was looking confused
Blitzø: What?!
??: The fuck?! Loona!
Loona: Oh yeah, he's a monster. As he wakes up he didn't even hide it, gotta say his tongue was rough~
??: YOU'RE NOT HELPING!
CLICK!
He then saw Blitz's pistol pointed at his head, he gulped and put his hand up
??: B-Blitz...l-let's talk about this...
Blitzø: You have 5 seconds to run before I BLOW YOUR GODDAMN HEAD OFF!
5!
He immediately ran but the bandage that's wrapped around his leg was slowing him down
4!
Loona started filming the whole thing while snickering
3!
Both Moxxie and Millie looked at Loona disapprovingly
2! 1!
BANG!
He narrowly misses the round as he limped out of the room, Blitzø then started to reload his pistol
Blitzø: ALEX! COME BACK HERE, MOTHERFUCKER!
Alex: AAAHHH!!
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin Hotel (X Internet Overlord)(18+)📈📉😈
Fanfiction"Hell Wide Web" everyone knows what it is but no one knows how it works, except for one. The one who controls and manipulates it, the one that Sinners, Hellborne and even Angels use and search on. And he's baaaack~ sinners rejoice- (Hellphone rings)...
