𝐄𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

40‣ 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮

"Would you have done it Hyunjin? Left everything behind and ran away for love?"

the whisper is torturously deliberate, Felix's eyes are made of glitter dust and Hyunjin's heart is as fragile as glass. The question hangs in the air like a dagger sharpened to kill, and it's pressed so closely against Hyunjin's throat that one more breath and it'll slice his skin apart. But there is no fear, the heaviness of the question is just that; heaviness. Hyunjin doesn't feel his soul shiver from terror though he does feel his heartbeat quicken, it's a laden question with emotion nevertheless and emotion is one thing Hyunjin is not an expert at

There are a thousand other words buried beneath these few Felix has chosen and even if Hyunjin doesn't know them exactly, he knows well enough to understand their existence. His sincere eyes feel somber when they lock themselves with Felix, letting the words wash over him with the squall of emotions they bring. Every single one was unreadable and too much for Hyunjin. The question Felix has asked is the precipice of their high-built moments, one slip and fall and there stands death with its arms open

But Hyunjin knows he won't slip, not for the answer he has at least. He doesn't know what Felix is expecting him to say, what Felix wants to hear but he knows what he wants to say, it's physical behind his throat, he doesn't even need a second before he can give it but he knows he can't just say it like that, he needs to fold it into a bearable sound, a better statement. A sharp inhale through his nostrils, one decision made in haste but with certainty, and then the words are out of his mind, out of his heart, into the world, closer to Felix than to him

"If it were for you, yes"

It should not have come as a shock, it should not have rocked Felix's soul like it did but it did nevertheless, halt his drumming heart, shatter his peace just to replace it with something so much stronger that he can't even think straight. What is that supposed to mean? For him? Hyunjin would, for him? Leave behind everything and run away for love, for him? Felix's world freezes and the shock is incredibly visible on his face

Hyunjin's heart falls to his stomach as well, the look on Felix's face is not the littlest bit pleasant and he doesn't know how wrong he was, he just knows he was. His grip on Felix's waist goes limp, his hand in his hair pauses and the shine in his eyes turns into the dim of the moon outside while clouds clad it, rain ready to pour. Felix couldn't believe the words he had just heard, he didn't know what he was expecting, didn't even know why he had chosen to state his question that way but oh heavens, this was not the way he had expected this to go

the shock dissipates in his senses and then the aftermath is left, harder to deal with than the sudden surprise itself. His slightly widened eyes lessen in size and he acknowledges better the way Hyunjin's fingers are now hesitating to hold him, how the look on his face is of fear he cannot believe he would have ever seen on such a strong man. Felix's own conscious mind fails to work, then the butterflies erupt in his stomach, the contradictory changes in him leaving him breathless

Hyunjin would leave behind everything for him--the life-changing revelation is said so casually Felix has a hard time believing it, but it's so incredibly, painfully, sweet that he can't help the redness of his cheeks, cannot help the flutter in his chest and the sigh that escapes him. His mind refuses to think, his heart refuses to calm down, and everything feels like fire against his skin. There is a twist of wheels in his brain but they sound rusty and the words are beyond him before he can capture them

"You would?"

It's a whisper and he wouldn't know why he even asked that, maybe because he's having a hard time fathoming a man he met two months ago would be willing to give up his everything for him, there's the sheer idiocy in that statement itself, then there's the leftover insecurity of the man who left him despite two years of their shared love, who wasn't willing to spend any more time or efforts for him while Hyunjin is willing to give up all he knows for Felix? The Felix he's known for two months? Maybe it's stupid anyway, maybe Hyunjin doesn't even know what he's saying