𝐄𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

46‣ 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧

Hyunjin didn't return, and Felix remained waiting for the entire night. He should have known better than to wait around like some damsel in distress waiting for her betrothed to come and save her but he couldn't help the feeling in him, couldn't extinguish the yearning to be next to Hyunjin. After a good while of a long conversation with Minho, the boy found himself alone all over again when the brunette had to leave for 'work', and since then, Felix had remained in anticipation of Hyunjin's arrival

he had an excuse of a dinner, which was more wine than food, all by his lonesome and had gone to sleep earlier than he would have wanted. Around midnight, when there was no indication of Hyunjin coming back Felix decided to call Seungmin, not sure if the man would be up or free to talk to him but surprisingly he had answered within the four rings and questioned who this was;

"Who's this?" Seungmin's voice comes softly from the other side, so familiar. It felt like ages had passed since he last heard this recognizable voice but it truly hadn't been that long, still, the sound urged tears to shine in Felix's eyes out of pure stupidity. He didn't feel like crying, but then this sudden peace comes back to him of his mundane life, and then tears are shining in his eyes even if he doesn't want them to, then that awful shrill of the doorbell is ringing in his ears from that night, overpowering Seungmin's voice and he doesn't know what that noise has even come from

he had pushed every memory from that damned night down a pit he didn't know existed within him, had tried to act so normal with the fact that he was abducted from his house, beat and left at the mercy of some Mafia lord he barely knew. It was bitter when put like that, when put as realistically as close to life, and Felix didn't like the repugnant taste of it so he had tried to act like it was nothing at all, but perhaps suppressing it wasn't the best way out because he can barely feel his fingertips anymore

"Hey, mong-mong" The nickname comes out so affectionately Felix was afraid it was going to stir a sob out of his throat but then he hears a heavy exhale of air from the other line "Fucking fuck, Felix! Where the living shit have you been?" Seungmin was a well-spoken man, and to hear him use such an amount of obscenities proved just how much he had been worrying about Felix, which only made the blue-haired feel guilty "I uh..." Minho had told Felix what they'd let Seungmin and the rest of the group know

that Felix was with Hyunjin, that he had been too depressed about Chan and was currently living with him to make the 'sex better access' in Minho's less-eloquent speech, had told them that Minho knew only because they met over a bar accidentally where Felix was with Hyunjin and had asked him to get the message across to everyone else. Felix had felt like something punched him in the gut the first time he heard the made-up story and the mention of his ex-lover but then he was overtaken by other more important thoughts, and within the second the pain had come it was gone

His remembrance of Chan lasted mere seconds because he was better fixated on how messy this was, the story had far too many flaws, it was half-cooked and half-rotten, and indefinitely not the best which just tells Felix this didn't go through Hyunjin before it was public but he shouldn't care about that, Minho had said

as long as his friends bought it, that was what mattered. And it seemed that he had had enough meltdowns in front of them for them to believe that was true. Felix was embarrassed, to realize everyone quite literally believed Felix was bleak enough to commit such things but Felix himself knew this story Minho had pulled out of his ass was definitely not far from something that might occur in reality

biting down the rise of humiliation, Felix went on with the seed of lie Minho had sowed "I don't know how to explain without sounding stupid" He began with the truth because if he were to genuinely tell Seungmin what had happened with him, he wouldn't know how to explain without sounding like he's making this up like he's stolen some script for an unpublished movie, because that's what it felt like. "Lixie, god, are you even okay?" Seungmin sounds so anxious and Felix feels all too sad