𝐄𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

41‣ 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙯𝙚

"With you being...that; A mafia lord"

The whisper is haunting, the reality of Hyunjin has never felt so much like kerosene poured and a match lit but with Felix's mouth it sounds like lava, like shame dressed in the fabric of pure dread, the best quality. Hyunjin's insurmountable ego breaks and crashes like never before, never had he ever felt so small and shallow, so dirty and low. Felix didn't word it like that, his tone wasn't condescending and he knew the blue-haired was too sweet to ever consider someone that way, even if it was a Mafia Lord, but Hyunjin's own conscience had made him feel that way

he knows Felix doesn't think of him like that, like some dirty creature who is unworthy of the holy being Felix is but he thinks of himself that way, he has never before, but when Felix tells him so politely he'd need time to adjust with him being a mafia lord, the realization comes worse than the crack of a whip against a servant's back. Hyunjin's hand stopped in Felix's hair temporarily, his body malfunctioning and crashing under the weight of his self-deprecation

Felix realizes the fingers that felt like home in his hair have stopped and he can hear Hyunjin's heartbeat quicken under his cheek, his own follows and he's scared he might have said something wrong. Bottom lip stuck between his teeth, he slowly looks up at the frozen sculpture that Hyunjin is, eyes locking with the man and he can understand the exact time the blond's ice cracks and he returns to life "That's okay, right?" He asks as if there is any room for him to seek permission

Hyunjin's soul shivers a little at his words and his face shifts into something that is purely defensive "Of course, yes, obviously" He's never been so non-eloquent but the need to assure Felix that he has every right to be taking this decision is too high, too much that he cannot stay still and think of the how badly he hates his occupation. "Yes, Felix, it's your decision you can take all the time you need" He speaks a bit less hastily this time, preparing his words better and correcting his tone, looking less of the mess he was feeling like

Felix's sparkling eyes look back into his like saucers from another planet and Hyunjin realizes he ought to act like the better man he wasn't, licking his lips and regaining his grace. He sighs softly, attempting to calm his racing heart as he picks up the motion of his fingers and cascades them through Felix's hair again, earning a sweet hum from the latter that announces his glee but is barely audible. The rain outside covers most of the noise in the room and Hyunjin isn't expecting a response from the other. Still, it comes;

"Good night, Hyunjin"

it's said with such a sweet smile Hyunjin was sure he was no longer on earth but in heaven, his own lips curled unwillingly as he stared at the beautiful sight before him, unsure of how someone could be this dazzling. The words were not what Hyunjin had expected the latter to say, he wasn't completely sure their conversation was over just like that but Felix's greeting had made it evident and he didn't know if he was glad or terrified, it was not a beautiful vacation being alone with his thoughts but the smile from Felix makes anything worth it

"Good night, Felix"

He replies huskily, watching the blue-haired shift closer and nuzzle his face into his chest, no longer staring up at Hyunjin but burying himself into Hyunjin, eyes closed and grip over the blond tight as love. The normalcy that has suddenly returned is one thing Hyunjin is utterly grateful for, the other things it has brought with itself are some things Hyunjin will try not to pay any mind to, not when the beauty in his arms is so beautifully warm. He can think of the negatives for the rest of his life, right now what he needs is to soak in this moment he has been much in despair for

a sigh withers past his lips as he continues to stare at the blue tuft of hair on his chest, smiling even when he doesn't know he is, the moment too pretty that he can't help but smile despite all of its flaws. What was heaven without a few sinners? He could live through this nightmare long as Felix stayed in his arms like this.