seeds | hxh oneshot & headcannon collection

trium perfectum - poly!killua x f!reader x gon

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➥Killua's conflicting feelings about you and his best friend are set straight on one eventful evening.

Non-commissioned piece
Warnings: Underage drinking, alcohol consumption, making out, aged up!killua & gon, they're like 17/18 here
Word count: 3.3k

Killua accepted his feelings for Gon a few months after you announced your relationship with his spiky-haired best friend.

The realization never dawned on him until then, not even when they were kids. His excuse for staring too long into Gon's sparkling eyes or freezing up after receiving a compliment from him was that he "admired him as a person."

The first time Killua met you was before your relationship with Gon was completely set in stone, but his perception allowed him to put two and two together before that.

He noted how you became a variable whenever they made plans, how he could hear you in the background of their voice calls, and how you even started inviting yourself to their hangouts.

Gon was the type to move quickly in relationships, not wanting to waste any time. That's why it felt like the two of you met and then immediately transitioned into being a secure and passionate couple.

Initially, Killua brushed his annoyance under the rug. This was normal. Gon was his best friend first, after all. It was like Killua dropped a level in Gon's hierarchy—a sudden shift that took Killua some getting used to.

He began to worry when the piping-hot jealousy festering within him wouldn't subside, it grew the more he hung around you and Gon. Killua came to a conclusion about the foreign feeling.

He was upset because he wanted to be in your place.

Killua harbored an undeniable love for his best friend. He assumed it had existed the entire five years he'd known him, whether or not he was aware of it, and it had taken Gon's first serious relationship to make him aware of that fact.

Fortunately, he was adept at hiding all signs of his conflicted feelings whenever he was around both of you. He shoved down all of his bitterness. Gon's happiness is more important than anything, right?

And Killua would be lying if he said you weren't amazing yourself. Your ability to provide balance in Gon's life is a testament to that. You stabilized him. You grounded him. You completed him. You helped Gon improve in areas of his life that Killua wished he could.

You really did work well with Gon; assertive and self-assured, yet unwilling to put up with his immaturity, selfishness, hypocrisy, and the other negative traits he displayed. But you were still responsible and sweet enough to understand Gon's nature, so you didn't hold it too much against him.

With Killua, you were brash and witty, constantly taunting him. He'd unquestionably match your energy, which was the essence of your shared bond. But you always affirmed that you were just joking and would reach up to pat his head afterward. Your duality was a breath of fresh air.

Killua liked you. Well, he thought he did. But at the same time, he didn't.

Yeah, Killua had another problem: he couldn't figure you out. You were an unpredictable burst of charismatic contradictions.