her collection of different stories

21: Those Hugs

TW: rape, physical abuse, obsession, manipulation.

Physical touch is my love language. That‘s why i love hugging people. Especially him. I became more fan of hugs when I started hugging him, every minute, hours, and day. If we were in public, I always held his hand as if he will go far away from me.

But... I am starting to dislike my own love language now. I became uncomfy when someone touched me. I became distant when someone will hug me. What happened to the love language girly?

Ah, because of him. He‘s the reason why I love hugging people, but he‘s also the reason I became distant. His hugs, hands, and body are not the same anymore. There‘s a monster inside, controlling those.

Who‘s that monster? Why did the monster controlled my lover‘s body? What happened to the man I loved before?

He became obsessed, aggressive, and manipulative.

His hugs became aggressive, he doesn‘t wanna let go of me. He wanted me to stay with his side, always—as if someone will get me from him.

His hands are slapping with my face everytime he didn‘t get what he want. He always gave me a punch on my stomach, because I don‘t wanna do what he commanded.

And his body... his body always finding me. Finding the hot that he was the only one could feel. My body was against on his body. That‘s why he‘s forcing me to fulfill his needs.

Aside from hurting me, he will also hurt himself, and will commit su!cid3 if I will say no.

Did I deserve this?

This isn‘t what I want, what I dreamed before.

I want hug that full of love. I want physical touches that didn‘t make me uncomfortable.

Yet... those hugs made me traumatized.