MIXED SIGNALS

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I sat at my desk, staring blankly at the open Word document on my laptop

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I sat at my desk, staring blankly at the open Word document on my laptop. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, but no words came. It wasn’t writer’s block, exactly—more like a mental fog, clouded by the thoughts of Soo-hyun that I couldn’t seem to shake.

Our relationship, if I could even call it, felt like a series of confusing signals that I couldn’t quite interpret.

What were we?

We had gone on several “non-dates,” hung out countless times, and shared moments that felt intimate enough to be more than friends, but Soo-hyun never said anything definitive.

He hadn’t made any moves to solidify what we had, and every time I thought I understood where we stood, he would pull back.

It was driving me crazy.

My phone buzzed on the desk, breaking through my thoughts. I glanced at the screen, my heart doing that stupid little flip when I saw his name.

Soo-hyun: “Hey, you free tonight? I was thinking we could grab dinner.”

I bit my lip, feeling that familiar rush of excitement mixed with confusion. Was this a date? Or just another one of our casual hangouts?

I hated that I didn’t know the answer to that question anymore. It used to be so clear when we were just friends. But now, everything felt uncertain.

I typed out a quick response.

Ji-won: “Sure. What time?”

As soon as I sent it, I stared at the screen, hoping for a quick reply. When my phone remained silent, I let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back in my chair, rubbing my temples.

I couldn’t keep doing this—getting my hopes up, only to be let down by the ambiguity of it all.

Maybe I was reading too much into things. Maybe he just didn’t see me that way.

But then I thought about the little moments. The way Soo-hyun would look at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. The way he’d linger a little longer when they hugged goodbye.

The times he’d make an offhand comment about our future—about “someday,” as if it were a certainty.

It was those moments that kept me hanging on, that made me think maybe—just maybe—he felt the same way I did. But then, just when I thought things were heading in the right direction, he’d pull back.

He’d go silent for days, or he’d keep the conversation light, steering clear of anything too emotional.

It was like he was afraid to take that next step.

My phone buzzed again.

Soo-hyun: “7:00? I’ll pick you up.”

I stared at the message for a moment before typing out my response.

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