𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐞.
supernatural universe.
☆ | P O W E R ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆
꒰ after years of abuse and torture,
she finds herself to be more powerful
than her abuser ꒱
❝ 𝘐 𝘞𝘐𝘓𝘓 𝘕𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘙 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘗𝘖𝘞𝘌𝘙
𝘛𝘏𝘈𝘛 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘈𝘙𝘌 𝘏�...
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𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝟐𝟗𝐭𝐡, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟔 ―୨୧⋆ ˚ MARLEY'S POV
𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃.
At first I had a hard time believing that my father── the man I've been wishing to die since the first day he yelled at me── was dead. After Sam and Dean broke the news, I got up and out of my hospital bed, walked down the hall to Dad's room and stared at his lifeless body. Even then, I didn't believe that he was really dead, so I moved into the room and stood over him, just waiting for him to open his eyes and frighten me.
But Dad didn't wake up. Dad really is dead.
While the boys cried, I stared at Dad with no emotion whatsoever on my face. In fact, I felt completely empty and confused── I felt dead. Here I was, standing in front of my dead father without a tear in my eye.
Even when we gave him a hunter's funeral, I believed he would shoot upwards and scream, but he really was dead. He died in the hospital, shortly after his talk with me, and I assume he talked to Dean just before he dropped dead. His death raises the question of, "Did he sacrifice himself for me?" because not only is he dead, the Colt is mysteriously gone.
Now the phrase, "I did what a father should do" makes all the sense in the world to me, but I really don't understand why he did it. He could've let me die, could've had me out of the way, but he gave his own life to keep mine. Why? I'm not upset, I'm angry. I'm not hurting, I'm confused. I'm lost.
The daughter he never wanted is the one who lived. Why? The opportunity to let me die was right in front of his face, and he chose to throw it away and save me, and while it's great to be alive, I'm unsure if Dad's motives for keeping me alive were selfish── for his benefit at the end of the day. Did he save me to help himself── to help my brothers kill the demon? He said I was powerful, more than I will ever realise, as well as saying that I'm a great asset to this family.
I can't miss Dad. I don't want to miss Dad. For the first time in seventeen years, I'm free of him. I'm safe── free from a man who made me fearful my entire life. I'll never have to cry myself to sleep because of the pain from Dad's fist ever again. I'm now protected, safe to do whatever I want without the fear of him coming back.
