Detach [Bbangsaz]

Intermission

Minji put her car in park before staring mindlessly at the vast mansion in front of her. She sighed, propping up her left arm against the window as she laid her head on it. She was thinking again, something she wished she didn't have the ability to do in moments like this, but she couldn't help it. It was like a reflex, or a new function added to her coded script.

She couldn't stomach the fact that Hanni was hurting, and she was powerless to do anything about it and how Soobin cared for her even when she didn't. It was as if she was standing between the two of them while they both were pulling on her arms in opposite directions, coaxing her with sweet treats to follow them, like she was a lost child. She truly didn't know what to do, and the fact that she was beginning to get soft scared her. She's built up these walls to shield herself from pain, yet they are ironically causing her pain now.

She exhaled sharply again before grabbing her bag and exiting the car. She rubbed her forehead as she walked, desperately yearning for a drink to drown out the thoughts.

She swings open the door and sees Soobin staring at the TV, the flashing lights illuminating his pained face. On the coffee table laid various empty bottles, half eaten fast food items and cigarette packs. She walked slowly closer to the couch, and within a few steps her olfactory nerve was attacked with the strong, unpleasant odor which was the result of the items sprawled like a pigsty on the table. His fatigued figure held a half-drunk bottle of liquor in his right hand, his eyes empty yet filled with so much emotion. She had no idea Soobin was struggling like this and she felt nothing but sorry for him.

She cautiously seated herself next to Soobin on the couch after placing her bag on the neighboring sofa. Soobin turned his head slowly to see a different Minji, a Minji who didn't have her signature unforgiving vacant expression with sharp eyes. He was surprised, surprised she didn't just ignore him like all the other times. But it felt nice perhaps.

"Hey, Minji." He growled, his throat dry and stuffed from the toxic combination of cigarettes and alcohol.

"Hi, Soobin." She replied as she carefully took the bottle out of his hand.

All Soobin could do was follow her movements with his eyes, he couldn't even muster the strength to protest or speak. Minji sat the bottle on the table before standing up.

"You need to get to bed." She commanded softly.

There it was, the Kim Minji that Soobin knew like the back of his hand. Her usual blank stare and monotone voice returned, ending the moment before it even started. It's like she cared but she was too afraid to show it or admit it to herself. He felt like he could burst into laughter at any moment because of how ridiculous this all was, why on the earth was Minji so hard to understand?

Soobin attempted to stand up on his own, but it quickly proved to be futile as his knees gave out and he fell back down on the couch with a groan. He averted his eyes from Minji's when he realized that he had been robbed of the ability to stand independently. He definitely had too much to drink. Despite his intoxication, his mind was still somehow able to wander. 'How did Minji feel being with me?' he thought to himself.

Minji let out a small sigh tinted with frustration and concern, two opposing emotions, but she was used to it by now. She reached out to help Soobin get up, it was not going to be easy to carry a full-grown man up an entire flight of stairs, but what choice did she have? The fact that she was tired physically and mentally really wasn't helping her predicament. She hooked her hands under his arms before she paused, asking if he was ready. She looked into his sad eyes, trying to understand what he could possibly be thinking about at this moment.

She got a flash of déjà vu. She was suddenly transported on a bullet train, speeding back to the night when she helped carry Hanni out of the car. That night she kept her usual unreadable robotic aura, in contrast to what her mind and heart was thinking. She felt so complete with Hanni in her arms, like the Vietnamese was her other half. She had pretended to be oblivious to the small girl looking up at her from her arms with helpless eyes with a hidden hint of admiration.