Detach [Bbangsaz]

Rebelling

When Hanni got forcefully shoved out of her dreamland, a dull sharp pain immediately attacked her nerves. It was safe to say falling into a deep sleep while sitting on a hardwood floor in the fetal position angered all her joints and muscles since they were unable to fully relax and heal under the warmth of the moonlight because of the moment of poor decision-making.

She fluttered open her tired eyes, carefully scanning her surroundings like a security camera, her ears perking up to listen to any possible movement from her abuser. It was like she suddenly turned into a bat, one who was fully aware of everything, even the slightest noise appearing to almost deafen her, and the slightest movement to send an ice-cold shiver down her spine. She always found it surprising how and when she obtained the ability to suddenly turn on and off her sympathetic nervous system like there was some sort of switch. What she didn't know was that it would be due to the intense amount of trauma she has been subjected to–her brain adapted to it in this way to keep her safe. Perhaps something she'd always opt to deny.

She rose slowly, her joints screaming in pain as she tried her best to make as little sound as she could. She tiptoed with the noise level of a scampering mouse, making her way to the guest bathroom where she washed up and got ready for work. As she was drying her face with the toilet paper, the fact that she didn't have any scrubs in the washing machine crashed into her like a car. She specifically recalled folding them and putting them away in her drawer–which was in her bedroom.

She dreaded stepping foot into that room, the room that was meant to wrap her in a warm embrace and provide her protection. However, as time continued to pass by, it felt more like a throne room. A room of royalty that she wasn't able to walk into without having to kneel and bow her head and desperately plead for her natural rights, her heart pounding and her body shaking. But she had no other choice, she had to go to work. She nervously approached the door, fear swelling up in her, but a thought barged through her mind, flipping a switch that perhaps made the dark void less scary as light flooded it. What she saw made her ask herself why she was scared of doing something so mundane. She wondered for a second if this was the life she wanted to have. Was she willing to continue to live the rest of her life stuck in the role of a mere prisoner, a slave? One who had to answer to her master and do nothing to defend herself. She knew very well that wasn't the way to live and Danielle's words echoed in her head, swirling around her head like a laundry machine.

"Hanni..you have to understand..she doesn't love you."

She felt alone, stuck in a maze she didn't know the way out of. She could scream for help, she could run until her lungs burst. But with every turn, every shout and every bead of sweat she could make no progress. But then again, was she alone? Minji, who she didn't know well, cared. Minji showed that on multiple occasions. The stern, authoritative surgeon who left behind faces of fear and tremor, cared. Someone as cold as ice, as distant as the moon, and scary as Kim Minji cared. And that was a lot, it was a lot for Hanni.

Despite all the care and support she had, she still felt hesitant to leave. There was something about the way Sunwoo made her feel that kept drawing her back every time. It was like she was a yo-yo; every time she would be released by the grueling grasp Sunwoo had on her, she was pulled back into the palms of her hands with one quick tug.

She gathered in as much as she could to fill her lungs, exhaled slowly, and walked inside her room. Her fatigued eyes immediately jolted frantically, scanning the room for any dangers. Her heart rate began to increase; so much so that she could hear the thumping from her maxillary artery. The organ that her very life depended on, both physically and emotionally calmed down when she realized that Sunwoo was nowhere to be seen. She felt her shoulders deflate like a damaged tire as she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. She wasted no time and quickly got ready for work, and the broken nurse was out of the trashed apartment in no time.