𝑬𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝑴í𝒂 | ᴮᵒʸ ᴹᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵂᵒʳˡᵈ

19: Deep Sea Divers

"The following is a list of exciting extracurricular activities offered to you, the student, by your Philadelphia board of education." Mr. Feeny said. "Each student shall select one exciting activity- vocabulary club-"

"Too exciting." Shawn muttered. "Mr. Matthews, please."

"It wasn't me. It was Shawn." Cory said. "Same thing." Mr. Feeny said. "Alright, uh, debate team, scuba club, upholstery squad." Upholstery?

"Scuba club?" Cory questioned. "Underwater adventure." Shawn said. "I'm in." Cory said. "Me, too." Shawn said.

"Me, three." Now I can finally figure out if mermaids are real or not. Eddie better get ready to owe me five bucks.

"Well, I for one plan to stimulate my intellect and will therefore choose between the vocabulary club and the debate team." Minkus said.

"I would enjoy communing with the creatures of the sea. I chose scuba." Topanga said. "Slap me in a wet suit and throw me overboard." Minkus said. "Can anyone tell me what the acronym scuba is?" Cory raised his hand.

"Duba?" "Scuba duba." Mr. Feeny said. "Mr. Matthews, I have obviously failed you on so many levels. An acronym is a pronounceable formation made by a combination of letters." Cory turned around to Shawn. "I told you."

"So, now, can anyone tell me what scuba stands for?" Mr. Feeny clapped his hands. "Come on. Someone take a stab at it." He walked down the row.

"Mr. Hunter, you haven't spoken since the fourth grade. S-C-U-B-A. What does it stand for?" "Something's... creepy... under... boat... Andy." Shawn answered. "Mr. Matthews was closer with Duba."

Is it my time to shine? I raised my hand with a smile. "Ah, Miss Flores, you haven't raised your hand that high since we read The Outsiders. Take it away." "Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus." I said with a smile. "Very good. Thank you."

"And I thought Minkus knew acrobatics." Shawn said. "Acronyms." I corrected. "Same thing." "Not even close."

♥

Shawn and Cory messed around with the scuba equipment. "Luke, I am your father." He joked. "What's that for, seeing out of submarines?" Cory asked Shawn. "For breathing. Didn't you ever go snorkeling?" Shawn replied. "No, never. Did you?" "Sure, in my bathtub. You can totally see things growing down there." Shawn said. "You know, I was meant for this underwater life because I am..." Cory took off his robe. "Scuba boy!"

Shawn and I laughed. "What?" "Cory, you are the whitest white boy I have ever seen." I said. "She's not wrong." Shawn said. "Oh, yeah? Let's see what you got?" Cory said. "Think I'm afraid to take my shirt off?" "Yeah, that's what I'm thinking." "Hey, I got nothing to hide." "I'm thinking that too."

"Yeah, well, let me warn you. I've been working out." Shawn took off his jacket and was wearing a shirt with fake muscles on it. "I have pumped..." Shawn clapped his hands and flexed. "...me up."

"How come you're wearing a shirt?" Cory asked. "Well, because otherwise..." Shawn took off the shirt. "I look like you." He ran his hands through his hair.

"Adriana-Camila, you're lucky. You got a nature tan." "The gift of being chicana." I said. "So when's the dive master coming?" "I don't know. Hopefully soon." Shawn answered.

"I hope I don't get yelled at for my choice of bathing suit." "Why?" I took off my overalls. "The paper said one piece, but all I have are two pieces since that's what my dad gets on clearance at the end of summer."

"It's not very evolved to ridicule the human form." Topanga said. "Each of our bodies is the master creation of mother nature." "Well, except for Minkus." Shawn said. "He was created by mother goose."

Minkus took off his robe. His outfit looked more like a space suit than a bathing suit. "Anybody ready for a dip?" He asked. "Yep, and here he comes." Shawn said. "You look like a stick of Juicy Fruit, Minkus." I said. "You wearing a wet suit too, mother nature?" "No." Topanga said.

She took her robe and had a normal one-piece bathing suit on. "What's the matter? No funny remarks?" There were no words for Topanga Lawrence sudden normalness.

"Uh, you got anything?" Cory asked. "I got nothing." Shawn said. "Uh, you got anything?" "I never thought the day would come where I'd witness Topanga being normal. This has to be a dream." I said.

"Topanga?" "Yes, Stuart?" "You're beautiful." "That's very sweet, Stuart. My superficial side thanks you." They walked away to the equipment table.

"What is Minkus doing?" Shawn asked. "I don't know, but he's doing it better than us." Cory said. "Hey, what's with the necklace?" I asked. "Oh, my dad gave it to me. It's one of those really important father-son gifts that you don't understand what it is." Cory replied. "Been there. My dad once gave me a gold-plated tire pressure gauge he won at the company bowling tournament. Try getting psyched over that." Shawn said, grabbing a life vest. "I wonder what happens when I pull this." He pulled the string, and it inflated. "Now I know."

Minkus stormed over. "Have you taken leave of your senses?" He asked. "You can endanger the safety of yourself and others." Minkus deflated the vest. "No touching the equipment until the dive master gets here." "Yeah, who is this dive master anyway?" Cory asked. "I don't care who it is, as long as it gets us out of school, underwater, and away from Feeny." Shawn said.

"Good afternoon, fellow divers." Mr. Feeny said, walking in. Cory and Shawn screamed. "Yes, Mr. Matthews, Mr. Hunter, I'm a certified dive master and have been for years."

"Okay, I'm thinking upholstery club." Cory said. "Now, the first rule of diving is never dive alone. Therefore, I would like each of you to select a partner to be your diving buddy."

"Buddy?" Shawn asked me. "Buddy." "What about me?" Cory asked. "I see you're without a buddy, Mr. Matthews. I guess you'll have to be mine." Mr. Feeny said. Cory slapped his forehead.

"Buddy?" Minkus asked Topanga. "Sure." "Oh, how cute. It's the little mermaid and aqua nerd." Shawn said.

"Now, one of our first drills will be buddy breathing, where you share your regulator and breathe through the same mouthpiece." Shawn and I tried not to laugh. "Okay, I'm thinking upholstery." Cory said, turning around to Shawn and I.