what now? // camren

chapter twenty one

camila stayed at lauren's apartment- but what's new? she basically lived there.

"carry this then drop the one." camila used the pencil as a pointer, pointing to the numbers on lauren's paper.

"but i thought you had to add six?" lauren question.

"no, you're thinking of something else."

"this is hopeless." lauren pushed her notebook making it fly across the room. "sorry." she apologized when she noticed her girlfriend flinch. she sighed and brought her hands up to her head.

"i know it's frustrating." camila rubbed her back. "but you'll do just fine, if you try baby."

"call me baby again."

camila scrunched up her nose, "baby," she gently kissed lauren's lips.

"you know," lauren smirked and raised her eyebrow. "there's something else i want to study, and i'm actually great in the subject."

camila laughed. "nope. no sex until you get at least a B in this class."

"what? no fair!" she argued. "this class is too hard."

"well," camila handed back the notebook. "if you study it wont be."

camila laughed when lauren groaned. "oh shit what time is it?"

"5:30. why?"

"well, while you were in jail, to keep myself busy i joined an after school club." she explained.

"an after school club?" lauren raised her eyebrow.

"well yeah. a save the beach thing." camila nodded.

"save the beach?" she kept her eyebrow up.

"yes lauren," camila said and collected her stuff. "i'll be back later."

"but what about my studying?" lauren questioned.

"you can study by yourself right?" camila raised her eyebrow.

"well um-"

"great. see you later." camila kissed lauren's cheek before taking off out the door.

"bye." lauren muttered and realized she was alone. she picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"hello?"

"hey ally."

"lauren. hey, what's up?" as soon as she asked, there was a wail in the background. she chuckled. "how's lisa?"

"a major pain in the ass." ally laughed. "but i love her."

lauren smiled as if ally could see her. "that's good."

"so what'd you call for?"

"i dont know really," lauren wandered around the room. "camila left for some stupid save the beach club and i honestly dont feel like studying." she picked up an apple and tossed in the air.

ally nodded on the other line. "oh yeah. she told me about that. dinah said that they like pass around flyers and stuff like that."

"sounds stupid." lauren shrugged.

"maybe, but it really helped camila while you were gone." ally said.

"what do you mean?"

"believe it or not, but there was a period where camila drank constantly." ally confessed.

"are you serious?" a shocked lauren asked.

"yeah. dinah had to help her stop. drunk camila is a handful."

"trust me," lauren laughed. "i know."
but lauren couldn't wrap her mind around the idea of camila drinking a lot. "okay well um i'll call you later?"

"yeah sure. bye."

lauren put up her phone and sighed. she started to feel alone again- like she was back in that god awful jail cell. she started to breathe heavily. she felt as if the walls of her apartment were starting to close in on her. by now she couldn't breathe. she gasped for air and she quickly headed towards the balcony. lauren struggled to wrap her fingers around the latch. it started to become really dark as lauren tried to open up the door. finally she slid open the door and fell out on her stomach. everything started to come back to her. she crawled to the balcony and grabbed the bar, pulling herself up. slowly trying to regain her breath, lauren leaned over the edge of the balcony.

lauren came to realize-

she just had her first panic attack.