what now? // camren

chapter twenty seven

ally came over to lauren's after school to help her with her studying. ally was a little uncomfortable being around lauren after everything that had happened between them; she knew not to bring it up, that would make things a lot more awkwarder.

"where's lisa?" lauren asked in the middle of the study session.

"she's with my mom," ally answered. "i'm apartment hunting. we just need a little space of our own."

lauren nodded.

"where's camila?" ally now asked.

lauren rolled her eyes. "with that stupid club again. i barley have any time with her anymore. sometimes i just see her in the halls- she waves hi and then leaves in a blink of an eye."

ally frowned while listening. she felt bad for lauren, but yet happy that camila found something that interests her.

"luckily i have justin."

"who's justin?" ally questioned, scrunching up her face.

"oh he's just a really good friend of mine."

the older girl raised her eyebrow. "are you sure it's a good idea to have a friend that's a boy, considering you and camila's history?"

"he's gay, ally." lauren cut her off, laughing.

"oh," ally nodded. "that's good then."

"yeah i guess." lauren's laughter lightened as she shrugged.

"sooo..." ally trailed off. "i think we're good for today. you should be prepared for the test this friday right?" she asked.

lauren nodded- scanning her notes. "yeah i think i'm good. i'll call you if i need some last minute studying."

"okay." ally nodded as she collected her pens, leaving the notes she took for lauren.

lauren stood up and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. "thanks for the help."

as much as ally didn't want to, she held onto lauren a little longer than she should've had. obviously some feelings were still there; but she knew nothing could happen between them. ever. never in a million years.

"ahem."

the two quickly pushed away from each other and stared at the girl in the doorway.

"hi camila." ally awkwardly smiled.

"hey..." camila looked between the two girls back and forth.

"uh," lauren started, running her fingers through her hair- pushing it back- like she usually did, "i had called ally to help study for my calculus test."

"i could've helped you." camila said, a little hurt that her girlfriend didn't come to her for help.

lauren scoffed, laughing. camila furrowing her eyebrows, not finding the humor in what she just said.

"like you ever have time for me!" lauren shouted into the air.

"what are you talking about?" camila furrowed her eyebrows.

"you're never around camila!" lauren shouted. "ive barley had a whole conversation with you these past few weeks!"

"that's not true." camila argued.

"it's not?" lauren laughed sarcastically. "when's the last time you were here? in this apartment? every time i call- and you barely pick up, you're either crashing at one of the girls in the club house or you're at your own."

ally awkwardly watched the two girls fight. she didn't know if she stay or go, 90% of her body told her leave and not get in the middle, but the rest wanted to stay to make sure nothing got out of hand. she knew lauren's history with getting angry with camila.

"what do you want me to do lauren?" camila threw her hands up in the air. "apologize? well then i'm sorry."

"i want you to be here with me!" lauren hated how much she sounded like a clingy/needy girlfriend. but it was the truth. she missed camila and when she needed her, she wasn't there.

"i have things to do! i can't babysit you and keep up with my work as well?"

"babysit?" lauren laughed and clapped her hands. "that's so fucking funny that you think you're babysitting me. but yet who has been the one to take care of you all these years?" she yelled.

"who has been the one who hurt me all these years?" camila said softly, causing the whole entire room to go into silence. no one moved- no one said a thing. the tension was so thick you couldn't cut it with a butterknife.

ally looked down at her feet, not sure what to do.

"well," lauren coughed and looked down at her feet as well. she started swinging them around before looking up. "if that's how you feel..."

camila felt her chest tightened. she didn't mean for it to come up, but part of her was glad it did.

"maybe we just don't work anymore." lauren crossed her arms, finding it hard to make eye contact with the girl a few feet away but somehow she did.

"yeah, you're right. maybe we don't." camil shrugged.

lauren almost fell back. camila gave up just like that? she coughed again. "well then it's settled then."

"yeah i guess it is."

the room grew silent again. instead of just staring at lauren, camila grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open and left without saying a word.

the dark haired girl let out yet another awkward cough before turning to ally. she looked down at the wood floors- trying her best to hold back the tears. "sorry you had to see that."

"um... it's okay... but are you okay?" a concerned ally asked, placing a hand on lauren's arm.

"uh yeah," lauren nodded. "i think i just might take a shower and head to bed. i'll see you later?"

"yeah," ally nodded and held onto her bag tighter, leaving lauren alone to the apartment. ally wanted to go back and make sure lauren was okay and comfort her- but she knew that wouldn't be the right thing to do. she quickly ran to her car trying to leaving the tempting atmosphere.

lauren held her hand up to her face and dragged them down. she sighed and looked around her. her life felt like a movie, a terrible one and she hated it. the movie that was her life seemed to loop endlessly. instead of 2 hours, it was a years long and would never end.

she scoffed at the thought of staying in her room and pouting. she was lauren jauregui. never in a million years would she do that. no one, not even camila cabello, could change her. 

she grabbed her keys and did what she does best. no not leaving.

lauren jauregui was going clubbing- as a single woman.