OFFLINE (Suspire Series #4)

Kabanata 18

Nathalie

I didn't hate Aklan when he broke up with me that night. I was hurt because, despite being my boyfriend, whom I couldn't remember, I was starting to get attracted to him.

And I figured that if I couldn't still remember him, at least I could start to actually like him. And from that point, we can start all over again. I just thought that he loves me so much that even if I lose my memory, he's willing to love all that's left and start all over again.

Yet, that night proved me wrong.

Akala ko kaya namin pinuntahan lahat ng mga lugar kung saan kami nag-date para iparamdam ulit sa akin kung paano kami noon. I thought we were starting to build new memories together.

Umuwi ako ng probinsya noong gabing 'yon. Mabuti nga hindi ako pinigilan ng mga nagbabantay sa akin at sila pa ang naghatid sa akin hanggang sa bahay.

Gulat na gulat si Ezra nang makita niya ako. And I cried on her shoulder. She was surprised to see me, but she still comforted me without asking why I was knocking at their door in the early morning.

The next thing I knew, there were more guards to make sure I was protected. I didn't even know how much they cost, but I just let them. Babayaran ko nalang si Atty. Montante kapag nasa tamang huwisyo na ako.

I still don't remember him, but my heart is now screaming his name. I even miss him.

Every day was a struggle.

"Hindi ka ba inaantok?" tanong ni Ezra sa akin. Nandito ako sa terrace habang may hawak na kape sa kamay. I was actually staring at the bracelet I was wearing, similar to Aklan, when Ezra came.

"Di pa," tugon ko. "Ikaw? Bakit gising ka? Hindi ba maaga pa kayo nung kambal bukas?" Ihahatid niya ang dalawa sa football camp sa kabilang bayan.

"Di rin ako makatulog," saad niya. "Sigurado ka ba na babalik kana bukas? Hindi ba't mas ligtas ka dito?" punto niya.

Tumango ako. "May trabaho ako doon. Hindi pwedeng nagtatago lang ako dito."

Aside from that, I promise myself that I'm not going to mope around here any longer. I have a promise to fulfill, and justice deserves it.

"Hindi pa nahuhuli si Francine."

I sighed. "Aklan and I are not together anymore. Ano pa bang gusto niya?" I snapped. My heart still hurts whenever I think that Aklan and I already ended. Kung tutuusin bakit ako masasaktan diba? It should be easier for me to forget him and move on because I have known the guy for like two weeks.

Iyong pinagsamahan namin noon. All of those memories were wiped away. But that's the thing, wasn't it? My brain forgets, but my heart won't. It's frustrating! How can I move on when I don't know what to move on from?

I tried to clear my mind by taking a deep calming breath. Kaya ako pumunta dito para pakalmahin ang utak ko at hindi gaanong mag-isip pero so far, hindi gumagana.

Muli kong tinitigan ang bracelet na suot ko at mukhang napansin 'yon ni Ezra. "Alam mo ba ang sinabi ko kay Aklan noong pumunta kayo dito?" biglang saad niya. "Binantaan ko siyang pasayahin ka at protektahan ka. Sinaktan ka man niya pero kahit papaano pinoprotektahan ka naman niya."

Because he sent an additional five guards in case Francine went all the way here. It might be because of his guilt that all this happened because of his psychotic ex. I don't know if I'm going to be grateful or angry because I'm thinking that he might still care about me. O baka delusional lang ako.

A few moments later, Ezra went to bed, and I stayed there until my coffee turned cold.

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