The Days of Emilia

Chapter 14: Weights and Buzzing

Emilia's POV

Mom and I walk into the apartment. She just picked me up from UCLA after writing camp. All during the ride she asked me how it was. I gushed about how amazing it was all with a smile. Upon entering my room however my smile falls.

The truth was that camp was terrible. I could barely concentrate during lectures and couldn't write anything remotely good. The nice director could tell something personal was wrong and suggested that I channel my feelings into my writing. I told her that the feelings were too fresh right now and I don't think I could write anything good within a week. She understood and still worked with me regardless to teach me.

I climb on to my bed starfishing my body and taking a deep breath. For a solid 10 minutes I stare up at the ceiling. I then hear my phone ding.

Josh ❤️🙈
At least tell me your if you're okay.

That's another thing. I've been ignoring Josh all week. I look at the countless notifications of calls, FaceTimes, voicemails, and text messages. With another sigh I drop my phone to my chest and close my eyes.

I know he cares and wants to make sure I'm okay after the quinces but right now I just want to be alone. There's only so many times you can hear "are you okay?" Before you start to lose your mind.

For what feels like the millionth time this week I let out a big sigh. Trying to let my body sink into the bed. But I can't. The same heavy weight I've felt all week is on my chest. And it's accompanied by a constant buzz all over. It's like my body can't rest or be at peace. And I find myself taking these deep breaths in attempt to expel all the restlessness. But it never works.

"Lunch is ready." I hear Elena say coming into the room and standing next to the bed looking at me.

"I'm not hungry. I think I'm gonna take a nap." I tell her as I turn my back to her and pull a blanket over me.

"Okay, sleep easy then." She says before exiting. I once again close my eyes and sigh. It took me a good 15 minutes to fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up later than everyone else. I ended up sleeping through the rest of yesterday. Walking into the kitchen I fix myself a small portion of the leftover scrambled eggs and toast at the counter.

I stand there and eat instead of eating at the dining table. Everyone else was in the livingroom relaxing. Until there was a knock at the door.

"Oh hi Josh! How are you?" Mom says as she opens the front door. I immediately stop what I'm doing. I panic trying to figure out how to hide.

"Hi Mrs. Alvarez, I'm well. Uh... can I speak to Emi please?" Josh asks nervously.

"Sure... Emilia!" Mom calls for me. There's no backing out of this now. I walk over to the door.

"Hey..." Josh greets sadly.

"Hey..." I say unable to look him in the eyes.

"Can we talk in private?" He asks gesturing toward the hallway. I nod and exit the apartment. Closing the door behind me.

"I checked your location last night and saw you were back. I don't mean to impose on you." He said as an ice breaker.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked with a shaky voice.

"No." I answered simply.

"Can you explain why you ignored me all week then?" He asked next.

"I wanted some time to myself I guess." I answer with a shrug.

"Okay I understand that. I just wish you would tell me that instead of making me worry." He says with a bit of rightful anger. I silently nod in understanding. He lets out a big sigh and throws his head back.

"What can I do to support you right now?" He asked while taking a step closer to me and grabbing my hand. I feel tears well in my eye.

"I don't know how you can help me..." I say as the tears fall. He pulls me into a hug and holds me for a moment.

"I'm sorry. You're so sweet to me and I don't deserve your kindness after ignoring you." I sob into his ear.

"Shh... I'm not upset anymore. You've gone through a lot this year. These past couple months especially." He says while still hugging me and rubbing my back. I continue sobbing for another 3 or so minutes before I compose myself.

"Sometimes it's hard to talk to you about things... because it feels like you would never truly understand." I state pulling away from him.

"What do you mean?" He asked while rubbing my shoulders.

"Josh, look at your family and look at mine. You guys are picture perfect and all American in every way. While my dad literally abandoned me on my birthday along with a lot of other stuff that I'm not ready to talk about yet. And I'm not trying to make you feel bad for having a happy family, I'm not! But I think this is one of those things you can't relate to with me... and it's frustrating." I explain wiping the last of my tears away.

"I'm sorry I can't help you with this. But if there's ever anything else, promise you'll come to me." He demands hugging me again.

"I promise." I whisper into his ear. Again we sit there for a moment just enjoying each other.

"Wanna go inside and watch a movie?" I ask after a beat. Once he nods yes I open the apartment door and we make our way inside.

"Everything okay?" Mom asked concerned from her spot on the couch.

"Yea. We're gonna watch a movie in my room." I say while holding Josh's hand and pointing to the bedroom with the other.

"Okay, keep the door open." She says. I nod and lead Josh away. We set up the laptop on my top bunch and snuggle each other under the cover.

As the movie starts I sigh trying to dispel that ever annoying weight and buzzing. But even as I try to feel Josh's warmth those annoying feelings are still present.

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Here is my first original chapter for this book... I know it's a little short but here is an immediate reaction to victor leaving from Emilia's perspective.