Lacy, Oh Lacy

Sleepy Head

I graze my fingertips along the fretboards travelling up the neck of the guitar.

Lando is lying down on my bed propped up on his elbow as he admires my hand delicately tracing the guitar.

I sit up on my bed and cross my legs as I ponder what song I should play for my curly haired teammate.

"Ok fine. You might like this one."

I begin to softly strum on my guitar as I focus on the finger picking pattern to my selected song.

"You might not know this one but-"

"Say yes to heaven by Lana Del Rey." He says in a groggy tone as he snuggles a pillow in between his arms, fighting to keep his eyes open.

I look at him for a moment as I'm caught by surprise.

I just smile as I continue to strum along to the song and softly hum the tune.

Landos eyes are now closed and I'm not sure if he's entirely asleep so I decide to continue to play apocalypse by cigarettes after sex.

The moonlight shines in on Lando and I as he drifts off to sleep.

I wanted to wake him so that he could go into his room but he seemed so content.

Part of me said it's fine just take the other side of the bed and the other side of me said no! Remeber Hayden?? Sleep on the floor.

I set my guitar down after I finish strumming a few songs to create an even more serene atmosphere.

I ponder what I should do as I lay on this huge king sized bed that the man, who liam considers to be my 'inbetween friends,' is currently lying on.

I glance over at the clock and the number 1:38 reflects back to me in red neon.

I decide to rest my head on my pillow as I try to convince myself that it's fine that he's here.

I want to wake him up but I'm too comfy to move.

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I wake up to a set of arms wrapped around my torso.

Suddenly I'm wide awake.

My initial thought is oh my gosh what happened last night?

But then I remember just some wholesome guitar playing and then I start to calm down after my realization.

I decide to push away any negative thoughts that I had about Lando and I completely away.

I decide to just enjoy these last few minutes that him and I have here together before he wakes up.

I decide to not feel any kind of guilt towards this whatsoever.

The warmth of his embrace cocooned me like a comforting blanket.

His steady heartbeat resonated against my back as I noticed how we were practically spooning and I was his personal teddy bear.

His heartbeat was a rhythmic reminder of the reality that I was trying so hard to ignore.

I shifted slightly, trying not to disturb him, but his grip tighted instinctively around me, drawing me closer.

He smelled like some kind of vanilla mixed with a strong sense of piquant spices. It was probably his shampoo or something, his curls always seemed to be so voluminous.

Gosh how did I end up here? I was literally fighting with myself last night that I wouldn't let this happen.

Honestly every day I feel more and more confused.