Dancing with the Devil

Chapter 12

I leaned on Sera’s jeep and fished out my box of cigarettes from my bag along with a lighter. His lighter. He watches my every move. And landed on the lighter that I got from him. Inipit ko ang sigarilyo sa pagitan ng aking mga labi at eksperto ko itong sinindihan sa harap niya.

He was just there. Standing proudly in front of me, watching me like an eagle ready for its prey. Matangkad ako, but he’s way taller than me. Idagdag mo pa ang malaki niyang pangangatawan, he could pass as an international model too bad he’s into business. He could even lift me like a sack of rice.

My frame is small compared to him. Using his both hands, sakop na niya ang buong bewang ko. With his same messy hair that I believe he purposely left unkept. His face looks soft because of his chinky eyes but was contradicted by his stubble and how thick his brows are. He looked like a soft beast that was ready to devour me anytime soon.

Hinithit ko ang sigarilyo at binuga ang usok nito. I was shamelessly checking him out but he was doing the same thing. Kaya bakit ako mahihiya? Shame is something that I shouldn’t feel, neither him. He look fucking good, effortlessly.

We were both quiet for the whole time. At naiinip ako sa katahimikang namamagitan sa amin. From afar we can hear the booming music, but silence surrounds us. It was like a brewing storm is coming, and we cannot both avoid it.

“Anong gusto mong pag-usapan?” Hindi na ako nakatiis. I toss the butt’s cigarette and stomp on it. 

"You were a virgin." He dropped it like a bomb.

"So?" I scoffed. Is this where we were going? Is he making sure na walang mabubuo? And if there is, would he ask me to abort it? I know, I was careless that night— we were. But this is my body, therefore I have the freedom on it. And I know where my priorities lies.

"I'll take responsibility for it.” Natanga ako sa kanyang sinabi. I was expecting the worst but I did not expect this. Him, really? Pakiramdam ko nabibingi ako.

“What?” I laughed like a lunatic. “Is this how a one night stand should work? From a playboy like you I didn't expect you to be..." I stopped and eyed him. "This conservative?" 

"You might have an experience, but clearly you're a virgin." He pointed out like it was a matter of fact. I saw his jaw clenched, like he wasn’t happy where this talk was going.

"Virgin?” I echoed his words.

“You fuck me already and you still think that I am a virgin? Let me remind you that I'm like your other girls too. Liberated and wild. Kaya wala kang responsibilidad sa akin. You enjoyed that night as much as I did, thank you.” 

"Now just shut up and leave me alone." Pagtatapos ko sa aming usapan.

I walked past him but he was fast enough to snatch my wrist and put me back in my place. He neared me, kinukulong ako sa pamamagitan ng kanyang malaking katawan para hindi makatakas sa kanya.

“That was it?” Iling niya.

“Ano pa bang gusto mo? That was just a one night mistake!” 

I wiggled my arms to remove his hold. Imbes na lumuwag ito at mas lalo lamang itong humigpit. Itinuko niya ito sa sasakyan kaya mas lalo akong nahirapan. I look away because my body and soul can’t keep up on how he was looking at me. His eyes were full of menace, I could see many emotions written on it that I couldn’t name.

And even if I did, I think I’m not ready to accept it…

“Mistake?” He repeated the word like it was the most insulting word he had ever heard in his whole life. With his free hand he held my chin gently and made me look him in his eyes. “Here I am…” he whispers the rest of the words making me unable to hear it. “And yet you’re here thinking that sleeping with me was a big mistake?”