Dancing with the Devil

Chapter 39

Sakit ng ulo at mabangong amoy ng sinangag ang bumungad sa akin pagmulat ng mata. I stared in the familiar ceiling of the room I haven't been in for a long time. This holds a lot of our memories; the series of rendezvous I had with him. How could I forget how his place was our secret place too along with mine.

Even with all this headache, and a lot of drink I drank last night I remembered everything I did. After all, even without an inch of alcohol in my blood I would still probably propose my feelings to him because of the never ending jealousy in me.

I don't feel an ounce of regret telling him what I feel, but I would be lying if that doesn't embarrass me because it did. A lot. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya haharapin na para bang hindi ko sinabi ang lahat ng 'yon.

I sat on the side of his bed, staring into nothingness. Lutang pa at hindi sigurado kung paano ang magiging akto sa harapan ng lalaking abala pa rin hanggang ngayon sa labas sa paghahanda ng lamesa.

My clothes were changed, sigurado ay siya rin ang nagpalit sa akin. I was wearing his clothes, I could tell because the shirt is a bit loose to me. For sure if he was the one wearing this it would fit on him, almost hugging his body.

Damn. Why was I even imagining it?

Ginulo ko ang buhok sa irita sa sunod-sunod na mga senaryong pumasok sa aking isipan. I breathe in and out, calming my nerves, readying myself in facing him. When I was sure I am ready that's when I would feel my heart palpitating against my chest ending up with me backing away from finally going out and facing him.

Urong-sulong nalang talaga. Sa huli ay ibinagsak ko nalang sa sarili sa kaniyang kama, hindi makapagdesisyon kung lalabas na ba ng kwartong 'to at ipaalam sa kanyang gising na ang lasing kagabi.

I pouted my lips as I heaved a sigh. I don't regret it really! Nahihiya lang talaga ako, sino ba namang hindi? I wasn't bold enough like him to act as if he didn't admit he likes me, I do not have the type of proudness he has in his blood. I was more the shy type... okay?!

And to think that I confess in my drunken state? He must've thought that I've lost my mind and I'm nuts for doing so.

"Argh– shit!"

My silent grunt turned into a loud one when the door suddenly opened, it even made me sit on the bed abruptly. I almost fell flat on my face, fuck! Thank God for my fast reflexes.

"When did you get up?"

Ayan ang bungad niya sa akin.

"You could have gone out and told me you were awake already..." his slit eyes almost disappear when he looks at me, scrutinizingly as if judging my whole being.

"W-what?"

I stuttered when he took a step forward, umayos ako sa pagkakaupo sabay sa paghawi sa aking buhok. Kinapa ko rin ang mukha dahil baka may dumi siyang nakikita na hindi naman dapat nakikita. I haven't checked myself out in the mirror. It will be humiliating for him to see an eye booger or something in my face.

"Or..." he cut his own words, sending more tension into my body.

"Or w-what?!" I could not help but raise a voice. "Stop cutting off your words on purpose and just get to the point!"

Masking the tension I felt with anger. It will save me more than letting him know that I am embarrassed about how I acted last night.

Humalakhak siya ng may mapagtanto, "are you embarrass?"

When I didn't answer, he was able to confirm that he was right. At napapikit na lang ako sa hiya. Gusto ko nalang magpakain at lumubog sa kamang mismong kinauupuan ko.