Dancing with the Devil

Chapter 46

Life is a cycle—continuous. Paulit-ulit, ngunit hindi ibig sabihin noon ay ganoon pa rin sa mga susunod na araw o kung sa una ay maaring nasaktan ka, baka sa susunod ay hindi na.

It was fated to be a continuous cycle, like a merry-go-round—moving endlessly yet staying in place. It was simply created that way in order to teach us a lesson; that in each spin that our lives will take. It's not impossible for us not to learn a thing or two.

My father has told me countless times to be wary and take caution every time my life spun. Isa sa mga dahilan ay sa kagustuhan niyang mag-ingat ako. But to be exact, all he wanted was for me to focus on the learning rather than the pain it inflicted me; he told me that what matters the most is that I've learned.

Do people learn from their mistakes? Or they just ended up doing it the same way they did the last time?

It's still a wonder for me, to all of us. Hindi natin tuluyang malalaman ang katotohanan sa likod nito. Maybe it is still the same, but I'm pretty sure that there must be a fine line that makes it different, even just a tiny bit.

And then I realized, life's cycles don't always end in the same place. Sometimes, a moment you thought would last forever suddenly fades, giving way to something unexpected.

Like how my friends black-out on the night of our hang out which gave me the chance to sneak my way out and go back home. Hindi ko kasi kayang matulog ng hindi katabi si Akio, nasanay na ako. Nangingibabaw ang pakiramdam na may kung anong kulang sa tuwing nagigising ako sa gitna ng malamig na gabi at hindi ko makapa ang init ng dala ng presensya niya sa akin.

Another thing is I don't wanna clean and I can't really stomach the scent of the flower in Sera's place. Akio sounded surprised when I called, asking him to pick me up at midnight.

Days move like a breeze, isang araw na lamang ang hihintayin at haharap na kami sa aking magulang. I am alone at the condo right now, Akio's at his office while I don't currently have work to do at this moment. Successful ang mga sumunod na araw ng new branch sa Tagaytay, it was another achievement added to the long list of my accomplishment.

Hindi pa ako tapos at nagsisimula pa lamang ako. I wanted to achieve more than what I can do. Totoo nga ang sinasabi nilang 'malayo pa, pero malayo na'.

Supposedly Taro should be in my care this day, but things happened and I had to send him back to Bulacan. Ayoko man ay wala rin naman akong magagawa. Isa pa, narealize ko ring uuwi rin naman kami doon bukas isasabay ko na lang siya pauwi ng Manila pagkatapos ng dinner with my parents.

I know that I don't need to worry about him. Marami naman ang titingin sa kanya roon.

Bago sumapit ang dilim ay nagsimula na akong kumilos at nagtungo sa kitchen para magluto ng dinner namin ni Akio ngayong gabi. Akio suggested that we ordered out tonight, but I refused because I was craving for something else and I don't think we can order that out.

Kung hindi ako ang magluluto ay baka hindi na lang ako maghapunan kapag pinilit lang ng isa ang kagustuhan niya.

My stride was big on my way into the kitchen, the mess I made earlier welcomed me. Napangiwi na lang ako sa nagkalat na hugasan sa ibabaw ng counter top table. Nang matapos kong malinis ang lahat ay nagsimula akong lumapit sa ref, hinalungkat ang laman nito at inisip kung ano nga ba ang gusto kong kainin.

Hindi ko kasi maalala kung baboy ba o manok? I scratch my head in confusion in the end because I simply couldn't remember.

I took back inside the frozen chicken—but stopped midway after seeing a carrot. Okay, I know what I want now! I finally started gathering all the ingredients that I needed. I put them all together in one place where I can simply reach for it while I prepare each.