Dancing with the Devil

Chapter 30

He must've thought she was his...

I tried... sinubukan kong itanggi. Hindi sa kanya ang bata, dahil una, anak iyon ng kuya ko at pangalawa, pamangkin ko 'yon! Pero parang tuluyan na siyang nabingi, ayaw akong pakinggan. Pinipilit na itinatanggi ko lang na hindi sa kanya ang bata. Handa siyang akuin ang responsibilidad, ibigay ko lang ang karapatang hinihingi niya.

Dati pa hilig na niyang akuin ang hindi naman sa kaniya! Ewan ko sa gago na 'yon.

The cold demeanour he's showing fades as he turns weak. This is how weak he can be? And he's not afraid to show it. No matter how I assured him that it wasn't his and all that, he won't falter.

But this isn't something that I can just tell someone—this wasn't my story to tell.

Iniwan ko siya. Hindi ko naman kasi alam kung anong gagawin ko. Ayaw kong pangunahan si Kuya. I was already almost at my place when I realized that I left Taro. Supposedly, I should be picking him up so I have someone with me to ease my lonely nights.

Ayoko nang bumalik ro'n. Iuutos ko na lang kay Art si Taro, for sure he'll do me a favor. If not, I might need to use his weakness to take advantage of him.

And Akio... I can't let him believe that Malaya's ours, knowing that he is married. I already told him! Anong magagawa ko kung ayaw niyang maniwala? Gustuhin ko man, ay parang pangunahan ko na rin ang kapatid ko kung sakali.

With no explanation, I left him.

The name says it all. She is indeed a carbon copy of me.

Malaya.

I was the one who named her. Kuya gave me the honor—he said I could name her. Growing up, he always called me Maya—like the bird, free to soar across the sky. So I named her Malaya.
I remember asking him once when I was little, curious why he always called me that. He just shrugged and said, "Just because." Ang tahimik niyang pagdiriwang ay dama ko nang pinangalanan ko ang anak niya.

Factor na rin siguro na mas maganda ang choice kaysa sa kanya na Berta ang gustong ipangalan sa anak niya.

Pero napagtanto ko rin na... tingin niya ay isa akong maya na may laya sa kalangitan.

Hindi ko man aminin, but I look up to my brother. Aside from my father, he was the hero that's always there for me. And when I saw his love for his own child, I couldn't help but be more proud.

At the beginning, he was scared—but the sudden changes that took over his life, he embraced instead of running away from them. Buong puso niyang niyakap ang pagbabagong dumating sa buhay niya, simula nang tumapak siya sa bahay bitbit ang wala pang musmos na anak.

He loved her all his life and took care of her the way he did to me.

He was new to the fatherly world, but he took the challenge to navigate the universe of uncertainty of being a father, fearlessly.

I love Malaya just as much as I love my brother. Minahal ko ang bata na parang akin dahil anak siya ng kapatid ko. She was the sole reason why I see the growth in my brother for the past few years.

He changed for her. And is still trying...

The same asshole I've known, who loved teasing and annoying me, changed into a responsible man who doesn't turn his back on his responsibilities.

He is proud and loud of being a father to his daughter.

I at least want Malaya to have a mother by her side with my presence—that's why I was really into her.

Another reason was when I had a false pregnancy. I mourned over it. I lost a part of me when I learned that I didn't have the baby. It was all my hormones playing tricks on me.