Dancing with the Devil

Epilogue

Never did in my life marriage cross my mind. I get that it is society's standard in living, to have married someone, then build your own family. Be a good husband. The man. The provider that protects them wholeheartedly.

I wasn't really interested in all that. I live my life with my own rules. And I don't care if you all want to follow the normalcy—just leave me the fuck alone.

But that was before her. My perspective has changed now, because I know in a heartbeat... If she's the one who stood on the other end of the aisle. With no questions asked, I'll willingly tie myself to her and obey all her whims.

It's her or never.

Future has always been unpredictable, it is full of uncertainty but it never did when with her—everything seems so certain. I must be crazy, because I can't see a future without her in it.

Pero paano? Paano ako ikakasal sa kanya, kung pinagtutulakan niya ako sa iba at pinipilit na kasal na ako? Minsan, nakaka putang ina rin eh. Mahal ko siya, pero hindi ko gusto ang ugali niyang lagi siyang pinapangunahan ng emosyon niya.

Wala rin naman akong choice—kahit magreklamo ay 'di ko magawa, dahil mahal ko siya at kahit gaano pa siya kasama sa akin. Kahit paulit-ulit niya akong ipagtulakan.

Siya at siya lang ang gusto ko. Wala nang iba.

Like how it wasn't on my plan, I ended up visiting her earlier than I expected. Just because of news that I heard and which Jack had confirmed, and Jack as he is. None of his words, or whatever nonsense he uttered, never amused me.

But, here we are... she does really have her ways of getting under my skin, influencing me on breaking my unwavering decisions in a second.

I was around the corner. Gawking at her from afar before I finally get what is rightfully mine. I had to wait—I had to have the patience which I knew I didn't have.

Kailangan kong mapalapit sa kaniya, o kahit man lang pareho kami ng hanging hinihinga.

I am that desperate, to have her, hold her, and mostly to be with her. I bought a new establishment, renovated it under the supervision of our construction firm, and made it our own, just because it was right in front of her cafè.

To close her proximity, I needed a reason. And it was undeniably successful, what isn't is this damning thin patience of mine. Idagdag mo pa ang balitang narinig ko na lalong hindi nakatulong. I was on the edge, my frustrations had built up, and my regrets.

It was funny... to overthink about something that already happened as if thinking all over it, reliving and going through all the pain again would somehow finally make its magic, and I can undo it.

But in reality, we'll always end up continuously reflecting upon our past decisions, questioning if they were the right ones.

She had this invisible leash on my neck, where she could easily pull me back into her without her knowing. And just like that, I found myself running back to her on my own will.

On the off chance, restless and lacking sleep, I went to her shop only to find her turning her back on me. The number of times she has left me can't be counted—I've already lost track. She's always running away. Whenever everything starts falling into the right place, she walks away, leaving me standing on the same ground.

Suddenly, and in unexpected situations, everything turns south.

But I'll forgive her; I always do. If accepting her apologies would make things better, then I will—even without her having to ask for my forgiveness. Kahit hindi siya humingi ng tawad, okay lang. Tatanggapin ko 'to.