I woke up the next morning feeling extremely sick. I spent parts of last night in the bathroom throwing up. This morning sickness sh*t is no joke. But I had to go to the doctor's office today to officially confirm my pregnancy.
I walked down the stairs and smelled Angeline cooking breakfast. I was so hungry from puking all night. I wanted to eat a whole buffet but I was still a little nauseous to eat anything heavy.
"Good morning, babes." Angeline said while seasoning her eggs.
"Good morning."
"How are you feeling?"
"A little sick but I think I'll be fine."
"Hungry?"
"Yes, but also not really. I think I'll just eat some crackers and drink some ginger tea."
"Sophia, if you're actually pregnant, you have to eat. You're eating for two now not one."
"I know but I'm just not feeling it right now." I sat down at the kitchen table and ate some saltine crackers and sipped on my ginger tea. "Plus, no one's actually pregnant until my doctor shows me the ultrasound of my baby."
I looked at my watch and saw it was about to be 11:00.
"Sh*t, I got to go!" I said rushing out the door.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Angeline asked.
"No, I'll be fine. See you later!"
At the doctor's office...
I sat down in the waiting room of the doctor's office. My legs kept shaking up and down. My anxiety was going through the roof. I was starting to feel sick again. If I'm actually pregnant with Bronny's child, I don't even know what I'm going to do. I don't even think I'm ready to be a mom yet. And I sure as hell know that Bronny doesn't want a child right now, least of all with ME.
I opened my phone and started scrolling through the #BronnyJames and #TaylorBuss hashtags on Instagram. All I kept seeing were them together. The Bronny and Taylor fan pages weren't helping, either. If anything, it made my jealousy even worse. My blood started boiling. I kept seeing recent photos of Taylor's hands all over him and them kissing on each other. I hated this. I hate feeling jealous. But at the end of the day, I did this to myself. I got myself into this mess and now I have to get myself out.
A nurse opened the door and walked into the waiting room.
"Sophia Harris?" she asked.
I got my stuff and followed her to an empty room.
"Dr. Porter will be with you shortly." she said.
"Okay, thank you."
I sat down on the little bed waiting for the doctor. I kept kicking my legs back and forth. I was becoming impatient. Can she take any longer??
Finally, the door opened.
"Hello, Sophia. My name is Dr. Priscilla Porter. Nice to meet you!" she said shaking my hand.
"You too." I said in a nervous voice.
"So, how are you feeling today?" she asked in a calm voice.
"I'm extremely nervous. I know I'm pregnant but I just want to be 100% sure."
"Well, you don't have to worry. That's what I'm here for! But before we begin, does the father happen to be present today as well?"
"No, it's just me."
"That's okay! If you could lay down and lift your shirt up for me, that will be great."
I lay down and lifted my shirt that revealed my little belly. Dr. Porter then put the cold, ultrasound gel on my stomach and began to examine it.
"Well, Miss Harris, we can confirm that you are indeed pregnant!" my doctor said.
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I already knew I was pregnant but just hearing my doctor say those words didn't feel real. I cannot believe that I was looking at my baby. My freaking baby. My creation. And it was so small. Like the size of a little bean.
"You are about 5 weeks in." she said. "I assume by now the morning sickness has started. I can prescribe you some medication to take for that and also give you these wrist bands that help with nausea."
"Thank you." I said as I sat up.
"Now, can you tell me something, Sophia? I know you said the father of your child isn't present with you today but is he going to be present at all throughout your pregnancy?" she said in a sweet voice trying not to offend me.
I looked down at my belly and rubbed it. As far as I'm concerned, Bronny might not be present at all during my pregnancy. He has better things to worry about than me. He is a professional basketball player. He has a game almost every night during the season. He is constantly at practice. He has a beautiful, rich girlfriend that he's always spending time with. He will never care about me because I am a nobody to him. I was just one of his side pieces that got pregnant and now I'm left with a child that I clearly have to take care of on my own.
"No, he won't be present." I sighed.
"If this is all too much for you to handle, getting an abortion is always an option if you'd like." she recommended.
Do I really want that? This baby will definitely be a huge responsibility but an abortion? I can't do that. This is my child. I created it and I can't just kill it because his father and I aren't on good terms. I am a strong, young woman. I have so many people in my life right now that can help me get through this pregnancy journey. I can do this, with or without Bronny.
"No, I will keep the baby." I told her.
"Then it's settled. But in case you change your mind, just know after 20 weeks, the procedure can't be done anymore as it will be extremely dangerous and life threatening for you."
I nodded my head.
"We'll set an appointment to see you again in a couple weeks."
