why is it that i have to live with the consequences of your actions?
why do i have to be haunted by your face everytime that i try and sleep?
why do i have to deal with the feeling of your hands on my body everytime i look in the mirror?
why am i not able to feel safe in my own home?
why am i constantly wishing you had just stabbed me that night?
why do i have to live with the fear that one day you'll want my body again?
why do i always have to be compared to you?
why do you always copy every single thing i do?
why do you give me presents and then tell people i'm the worst sister?
why do i have to sit there uncomfortable when you make a joke about sexual assault?
why do i have to constantly force myself to be happy around you eventhough i'm uncomfortable?
why do you always have to have something if she puts me first?
why do i still cover and lie for you?
why do i protect you when you did nothing but hurt me?
why do you always make me sort out your problems and refuse the help of anyone else?
why can we just have a normal bond?
why do i have to fear for my safety everytime we're alone?
why do i wake up to every slight noise?
why do i scream the house down in my sleep because you won't leave me alone?
why do i long to blame you for my death?
why do i wish that you had been caught out?
why did she have to protect you?
why did you have to lie?
why couldn't you have just let me go?
why are you words, "you should kill yourself, no one would miss you", on constant repeat in my head?
why do you still look at me like that?
why do you beg me for hugs and make me feel bad if i say no?
why did you have to choose me?
why couldn't i have just spoken up?
why didn't i just say no?
but when i did, you just said it was my fault.
why did it have to be you?
why me?
____
a/n:
just thoughts lol
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billie eilish mental health imagines
Fanfictiona comfort book for all of you guys who are struggling
