Dog Days

Chapter 86

He got the neck brace off the next morning. As soon as we were alone, he pulled me down to him and kissed me like he was starving for affection.

I think we spent a solid hour with him refusing to let me move from right in front of him. He white knuckled my shirt and never let me release his lips for more than a second.

Not that I would want to. I couldn't get enough. I got to breathe the same air as him. I felt the heat light my face as I heard his soft moans in the fraction of a second we took to breathe.

I walked away with the most distracting erection I can remember. After hours of it not wanting to go down, I had to excuse myself for a shower.

Let's just say, Jarvis definitely didn't want to address me as I was pumping a load down the drain.

I really hope he doesn't record the things he sees.

When I return from the shower, wrapped in nothing but the large white towel, Loki smiles at me "How was your shower, darling?"

I step over to my bed and pull out a pair of boxers, a long sleeve black shirt, and grey sweatpants. I bite my lip and remark "Refreshing."

As I'm about to step into my baggy boxers, Loki asks "Thor, can you stop for a second?"

I pause, only to ask "Is everything alright?"

He looks me over with a look of desperation "Will you let me look at you?"

I give him a confused look, as I sit my boxers down on my bed, and ask "What do you mean?"

He takes in a deep breath, only to state "I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of. I've been had by dozens of men." He looks over every detail of my face, before he states "I clung to the image of you, to get myself through it. I want to see you, again. I want to cling to every detail, now."

He looks over my chest and states "I want to cherish every moment I can."

I step towards his bed as I unravel the towel and toss it onto my bed. He looks over my body like I'm his favorite little toy. As I step towards him, I smirk "My cock was rock hard in the shower."

He hums as he reaches out to grab hold of me "Did you take care of yourself?" I give a short nod as I blush, only to have him smile "Once I'm back to normal, you will never take care of yourself again."

He rubs his thumb over the tip and I stagger in a breath, as he states "It'll be my turn to have my way." He gives me a soft smirk as he releases me "You won't know what you'll be waking up to."

All of those naughty little thoughts come flooding back into my brain and I have to back away from him. As I pull on my boxers, he asks "Did I upset you?"

I turn back to him with a soft smile "No." I step into my sweatpants as I insist "No more sex talk."

He gives me a confused look "What do you mean?"

I look him over, only to find he looks frightened. But that only makes me more concerned. I sigh "Loki, I know you're trying to turn me on to keep me interested. You don't have to."

He furrows his brow in confusion and I pull on the long sleeve, before stepping up to his bedside with a smile "I'm going to love you until the day I die. I will find you sexy, until the day I die. I don't want you to talk dirty to me when you're only doing it to fulfill your abandonment issues."

He opens his mouth to speak, but I continue "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to help you get better. And when you say things like that, when I just saw you being assaulted on tv, I feel ashamed of imagining myself sleeping with you. I fear I might hurt you, and I don't want to rush you into anything."

He takes in a deep breath, only to ask "What am I supposed to talk about?"

I take a seat in the chair and declare "Anything and everything, my love."

He takes a deep breath and states "You know I had to start fucking them for food."

I sigh as I look him over, tiredly "That I do."

He explains "It was a little easier to do while I was thinking about riding your cock." He looks at me with his wild eyes "I thought about you an awful lot. It gave me a reason to plan and live for the next day."

I take in a deep breath and he gives me a meek smile "I'm sorry, Thor. I know that's odd, but it's the only thing I could do, to level myself out."

I give him a soft smile "You don't have to apologize. I thought about you, every second of every day. I even thought about you as I was riding someone else's cock." I give him a disappointed look as I declare "I didn't even know if you were alive, but I needed you to be."

He gives me a soft smile "I didn't know if you were alive, either."

I take a deep breath and declare "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

He takes my hand and smiles "Neither do you. I really don't care who you had sex with." I give him a soft smile and he narrows his gaze "You said it was bad sex, right?"

I take a deep breath and declare "It lasted all of three minutes. I got off. He got off. I freaked out and it's just been-"

I shake my head and I lose my words as I try to think of anything to say about my current friendship with Heimdall.

Loki bites his lips, before asking "You got off?"

I take a deep breath and state "I did, yes."

He has a moment of what looks like weakness, before he states "I thought you said it was horrible."

I look down to the bed as I declare "He made me feel safe. He made me feel sexy, even though I felt grotesque. We both agreed that it was nothing more than sex, and that's exactly what it was." I sigh as I lean my head back to look at his disappointment "It was hollow, emotionless, sex. We both got off, and I just-"

I remember the feeling of clarity I had, before I started sobbing, that night. I thought Loki was dead, and I thought I'd never see him, again.

I sigh "I was lonely, and I didn't get what I wanted out of it, because he wasn't you. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to be held by you, and you weren't anywhere to be found."

He gives me a saddened look and I wrap my arms around my waist as I clarify "I don't want to sound like I'm accusing you of neglect, or something. I'm not. I just wanted companionship, and I got meaningless sex with the one person that felt as lonely as I was."

He gives me a confused look and I sigh "Odin and Hela were pushing me to find comfort in someone, and they asked him to try to get in my pants."

His facial expression goes murderous and I feel like he's getting angry "He told me about it and said that he had no intention on trying to get in my pants, because, after his wife died, he couldn't be bothered with anyone. That's when he joined the commune, and he was a recluse for a while. He said that he has always been my friend, and he didn't want to do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. He made me feel like I was ready to get back out there, and I think I just wanted to break the ice. But we both know I was ready, and he respected me..."

I look back down "I regretted it, immediately after. I-"

I sit there as tears come to my eyes. Fear of rejection floods my mind, but he just sighs and grabs my hand "It's okay, Thor. You don't have to explain it to me, darling. I even gave you the all clear to fuck someone else. I know you feel bad about it, but I'm just glad you told me."

I look up to him, only for him to ask "Did he make you cum because you were desperate, or because he actually figured out how to give you what you desire?"

He smirks at me and I state "It was just above alright sex. Vanilla, and rough. It was the day I got my glasses, I think."

Loki chuckles "Your glasses are very sexy, Thor. You're a very sexy man. Anyone would want to fuck you." I blush and he furrows his brow "Did he cum inside of you?"

I take a deep breath and just give him a short nod. He remarks "Then I'll just have to remind you who you belong to, later on."

I look up to him and he reminds "I quite like marking my territory."

I can feel my cheeks burning, so I cover my face and declare "We have to stop talking about sex."