Her Best Second Chance

Chapter 25: The Weight of Sacrifices

~Arzhel's POV~
<You didn't say goodbye, and apart of me believes that means you are coming back.>

I thought the chances of me ever falling for someone again was next to zero. I wasn't looking for it and I thought if I kept my distance then it wouldn't find me either. My main focus is my baby girl and here I am with my mind consumed with someone else.

She is the first to ever challenge me and set boundaries. I am use to giving orders and not being questioned but with her everything is different.

When she's not around, my mind becomes enthralled by thoughts of her, making it hard for me to focus on what's truly important. That's why I spontaneously drove all the way across the country before the break of dawn to find solace in the one person I trust to bring me clarity and peace of mind.

Pulling the metal chair to her bedside, I take a seat observing her almost lifeless body laying still on the single bed.

Taking her cold hands in mine my thumb brush over her now pale pink skin. The rich golden melanine her natural complexion held is completely replace with flakes

As I glance down, my eyes drifting between my feet, I reach out and gently take all her hand in mine. My fingers wrap around hers, feeling her delicate bones and crisp skin. I look up to meet her closed eyelids, the visible bluish-greenish veins tracing a subtle pattern beneath her skin, leaving me entranced and wondering if she is fighting as much as I am.

"It's been a while, I know,"I whisper, my voice barely audible over the steady beep of the heart monitor. My gaze wanders over her frail form, her body almost, but not quite, drained of vitality. The machines surrounding us seem to hum in sync with my own heartbeat, a constant reminder that she's still here, even if her spirit seems to be hovering just beyond reach.

Squeezing her hand, a gentle smile forms on my lips and I look at her reviving in memory the countless times she begged me to give love a chance.

"'I think it finally happened," I whisper, hoping against hope that she can hear me. "I think I'm falling in love, just like you always wished." I sigh, lifting her frail arm to my chin, feeling the weight of my emotions. "But I don't like what that means for me now." My thumbs trace gentle patterns on the back of her palm, my eyes locked on her face, "It means I have something to lose again, and I'm not strong enough for that anymore." I press a tender kiss to the back of her hand, my gaze faltering as I look away. After a few moments of silence, I glance back at her, my throat constricting as I force out the words "Not after what happened to you." The lump in my throat grows, threatening to overwhelm me, as I confront the vulnerability that comes with falling in love again.

Leaning back in the chair, I hold her hand close.
"I need you here with me, life has been miserable without you physically here."

"I am constantly angry and I don't know how to feel anything else except for when she comes around" releasing her hand I lean completely into the chair looking around the dim lit room.

Deciding to allow my thoughts to overtake me I watch her intently patiently waiting for the day she wakes up.

~*~

The door creeks open and I turn to face it, straightening up, my eyes fixed on the entrance, as the doctor walks in with a gentle smile. I sit up taller, my senses heightened, anticipating news. "Ahh Mr.Delgardio you're here" her gentle voice chirps "good morning"  she adds and I acknowledge her.

Moving to attend to her, I give them space, turning my attention to the window. I pull back the curtains, and a warm glow of sunlight spills into the room. I gaze out into nature, shoving my hands deep into my pockets, my fingers drumming a restless rhythm on my thighs as I wait for the doctor to finish.