After[Undertale]

Ch2-Trapped

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So as I said, why am I still down here?

The first idea was to bust the lock. I read lock picking books and articles...tried to bust it with my vines for hours...days but that thing wouldn't budge. It's a pretty strong lock. And as I said it's also enchanted as a precaution for...if I try anything, I guess

The second and arguably more obvious way out is to just reset, I would've regained my abilities when Frisk was out of proximity and I had the most determination in this place again (you know because there's literally no one else down here). But Alphys made this device to simulate a being having more determination than me... which is smart... I'll give her that...but also pretty annoying. Because that means resetting is off the table.

The one good thing about being a soulless Flower was having resets to fall back on. And now I can't even do that...But they could've have me ruining Their. Happy. Ending

In hindsight it honestly was a good thing for me. Because... resetting wasn't healthy.

Yeah I know. Shocker. Wow.

Because the thing is I didn't just use resets as a thing to fall back on. When I lost my soul I gained this ability and without a soul... I couldn't feel anything... and I started hurting, killing, to see what would happen. To try feel something... Anything...be even a little less numb. And it didn't really work and... more importantly it was messed up. The thing with resetting is that... you think you're above consequences, when you're not.

Resetting doesn't fix everything... I learnt that... the hard way. Because resetting made me feel even more numb because the monsters down here, became puppets... lines of dialogue. I became even more numb and distant and became something the old me... would be digusted with.

Which brings me to my third reason of still being trapped here or I guess an extension of the second.

Being trapped here, is for the best. Sure I didn't see it for the first... 9 months (and I still have my moments nowadays where I get cabin fever) but eventually my anger, frustration and aggression began to subside. This next bit is... very confusing to put into words.

And me not feeling emotions is not particularly helpful but try to stick with me here..I mean it's not like you necessarily can leave considering you're in my head...I reaaaly need to stop overthinking what you're supposed to be...it hurts my head.

But let's give this a go at least. I still can't feel anything but more and more often I... can understand what feelings are supposed to be there, even if I can't feel them. Yeah as I said, confusing... heh.

It's like something you know should be there, even if you can't necessarily feel it directly. Um...Let's try a metaphor!... Let's say the suns out (wow so creative ugh let's just go with it)...The natural reaction being "oh I'm hot and getting a headache let's get shade!" But the more... intentional reaction, the logical one is... "well I know it's probably hot because... it's the sun... and it does that...so I should go in the shade." or use contextual evidence such as "that ice cream cone is melting so it's probably hot." The heat isn't directly affecting you but you're aware of it... just like the emotions aren't affecting me directly but I still have an awareness. So my emotions are more... logical...thoughts than actual existing emotions.

So of course because they are logical and not a reflex I  have to... think about it more, and even those emotions are numb by comparison. This also means my natural reactions are still pretty numb... I'm still dangerous and... well I'm not always going to have enough energy to keep the numbness at bay.

And... I don't want to be that Flowey...I just am... that Flowey.

Being down here is just easier, for them and me. And even though I have been... ranting about being trapped down here... while they are living their happy lives

...I'm happy for them

And they're just doing what needed to be done.

Besides they visit, and send things and messag-

Suddenly my watch beeps and I burst out laughing at the timing. It means Frisk has messaged me.

"Now that... heh... Frisk is called timing... I honestly was beginning... to think... you forgot i existed" I manage to mutter to myself... through my laughs. My usual smirk widens. I take in deep breaths to steady myself as I go towards the computer in the lab where I can read the message they sent.

My laughters echos off of Waterfalls walls, growing weaker and weaker each time it repeats. And of course it only repeats my last few words. It reminds me a lot of... me and that person I used to be. I'm still a version of them... some parts are gone... some parts are mimicking who I was...but it's still a version of them right? Even if it is a slightly weaker projection...but echos are persistent and  if an echo of them is still there... then maybe that person isn't completely gone after all.

As I pass the crystal caverns of waterfall I continue to take deep breathes to calm down my still echoing laughs. But this time echo flowers are the ones repeating them, soon the whole of waterfall is filled with memories... snippets of my laughs.

A/N: hey, I've realised I may be addicted to ellipsis but I feel because of it being Floweys thoughts...it works. Also from here some more plot stuff is gonna come in, which means some more of characters which you might recognise. Oh yeah I'm also sticking in Undertale quotes and also quotes from other Undertale stuff I've read on here so happy hunting! when I finish this whole thing I'll publish a list of them all. Anyways, I hope you're enjoying so far!

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