After[Undertale]

Ch16-Memory

=)

I reemerge in ruins and scan the area, blinking a few times to adjust my eyes to the lighting. I look up at the still hanging lift and extend some vines out, gripping a few tightly onto the platform sides to steady it, carefully to make sure I don't break any of the wooden panels.

After it's fully steady, I extend out a few more vines out and begin the tedious process of tying the cord to the platforms...which is pretty hard to do without posable thumbs. The cord cuts into one of my vines and I hiss,immediately jerking it away, a translucent green liquid seeps out...

"Great...just great," I mutter.

It's not that it was painful, because it really wasnt...but...it's been such a long period of the same boring days doing the same boring activities in the same boring place...all this stuff that's going on is just a bit much.

I thought I wasn't a people person...but I realised how key people were during resetting. Because this is a lot like resetting, both having a monotonous nature. But the difference is that in resetting it was the same dialogue but you could make changes, change behaviours, see what happens. Yes... it was really unhealthy (it's not like I actually feel much remorse though because I just can't) but the fact that I had the power to change things it...stopped me from getting bored...helped me feel something rather than emptiness. But these past years I've felt...powerless. I am powerless. And that...scares me, even if I know this is what I want. Well i don't want this exactly but...I want everyone to be safe. Even now with Jynx it's not like I can actually care about them. The only emotions I felt were fear and dread when they fell down that cave...because when it comes to strong emotions they seem to be there the most. Which is still extremely low compared to the levels they should be at.

I want to care. But I don't. I want to care. But I can't.

Ugh I can't believe I'm stuck with a stinging vine.

I extend another, so the other one can rest, and I go to finish tying the cords, eventually I finish.

...Yay...

I look at the flowers for a moment. And perch myself next to them. It's...ironic isn't it? Frisk falling down  and getting saved by flowers cushioning their fall just for me to show up, another flower, nearly to kill them.

It's honestly...almost funny. Okay yeah it is funny.

I look at the golden flowers... I go here sometimes to talk to...Chara. Not the Chara from when Frisk fell...Not the Chara that threw me away in favour of emptiness.

I mean the real Chara. I know they probably aren't there but... I like to imagine they are... I tell them about things. Get stuff off my chest. Tell them that I miss them...Or... just tell them about the stupid thing I've done that day to stop the boredom from taking its firm hold over me.

Kind of like talking to you... but maybe just with a bit more delusion in the fact I'm trying to believe a person I love isn't gone. Because I know I'm delusional...I may be a lot of things but at least I'm self aware. I know how messed up my head is. I've been alone with my thoughts for far too long down here to be able to deny that.

"Hey... Chara, did you see that human that fell? Their names Jynx..." I begin before rambling on for a while.

During that time I notice a glint on the ground... as if the lights reflecting off of something. I scan the the flowers, being careful to not squash them, I'm trying to let them straighten themselves out after they broke Jynx's fall. I then notice a key chain.