Out of the Shadows // Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Ninety-One

One Month Later

Everyone seemed to be enjoying the little routine we had going around the house. Everyone, except me. I was numb at this point.

I had quit asking if anyone had come up with evidence of our assailants days after we had arrived here. I had given up asking to leave the house days after that. I resigned myself to my new life.

I was a good mother. My children seemed happy and healthy, for the most part. Junior's infections were unpredictable, but Seb made sure I had everything I needed at my disposal so I couldn't get desperate and try to leave.

I made friends, or at least decent acquaintances, with the guards that rotated outside the house, offering them tea and biscuits. Marilyn was my favorite. She had kids. She was a working mum. She understood me.

And I did everyone's laundry, cleaning and most of the cooking. My three roommates seemed happy.

I was lonely. Sad. I missed my home in Wales. I missed my freedom. I missed my husband.

My connection to him was barely there. He did only two missions where he was gone overnight. The others were short, just within his workday. When he got home, we would all eat as a family and he would help put the babies to bed with me.

And then we would go to bed. There was truly little connection happening.

The first time he tried, my back was to him. I was enclosed to his chest like usual. He started to run his hand down my stomach and before he got anywhere interesting, I put my hand on top of his, stopping him. I told him I wasn't feeling well.

He exhaled and we went to sleep. He didn't try again after that. And neither had I.

The dynamic between us was completely different than it ever had been. We were always insatiably hungry for each other physically. But I was lonely. And I had cabin fever. I could only go to the end of the front door path to talk to the guard. Which I did as often as I could to get fresh air. And to give the twins fresh air.

Otherwise, I stayed inside. I took care of Anne's house for her so she could devote herself back to her shop. I made meals for everyone. I took care of the children, who were sort of crawling now. Sliding around on their bellies and pulling each other along. This was my life.

One day, I made a decision. It came to me quickly. Out of nowhere. And once I make a decision, that was it.

"I'm going to sell the house in Wales." I said quietly to Seb one night. He was sitting up in bed reading while I lay next to him, trying to fall asleep.

"What?! Rachel, that's our home! It's where the twins were born." I heard him put his book down and I could almost feel his eyes on my back.

"Is it our home? We haven't returned. I'm starting to believe we never will. And I'm guessing the people that broke into it aren't stupid enough to return or smart enough to know we won't return. Either way, it's not home anymore. And we could use the money. It could be my way of contributing to the finances around here. Sell my cottage. Put the money in a trust for the twins schooling. Or help Anne with the upkeep of this place. Whatever we want."

"Darling, are you sure? This seems rash." He sounded concerned.

"Is it? I've been trapped here for so long... it seems a long time coming to me."

He sighed. He reached over and pulled me to him. He forced me to turn over so he could look in my face. "I just don't want you to do anything you regret, that's all."

"I won't. You've all made really sure that my choices have very little consequences. And that's fine. We're all safe here. And you're all happy. The twins are healthy. And now I've come up with a way to contribute."