Silently in love - Sanegiyuu

13 / Bandages

TW: this chapter mentions sh, mental health issues and etc.

SANEMI POV

I was shocked at the sight of his sh scars . Why did he fucking do that to himself?

It's all my fault isn't it....

"Giyuu-"

"DON't FUKING TUCH ME" He said, he pulled his arm away and turned his back to me. He wasn't looking at me, but i could hear a faint crying. I know i messed it up, but i can't just sit back while he's cuttting himself. I put my hand on his shoulder and swivel ed him around, but he was crying i could tell. He looked at me angry- bur he wasn't shouting back.

"Giyuu fucking hell, as soon as that hashira meeting is over you're going to Kocho." I said, trying to show my concern without being angry.

"Fucking leave. " He said but he was still crying and he pushed me out of the door and slammed it. Well this is great.

What was i supposed to do? If i brang him to Kocho she'd just be in his business like always. It's not good...... fuck , think! I can't stand back while he is self harming. This is all my fault... i didn't realise how bad he was feeling.. it must be why he looks so pale.

How was i supposed to earn his trust now? I'm the reason he's doing this, right? Maybe i should just leave him alone... He can take care of himself.

GIYUU POV:
He saw it he fucking saw it. I couldn't hold my emotions in this time so I just shoved him out. I need to get ready for the Hashira meeting, i'm running late, but how was i gonna ignore him? I wiped my tears. "Giyuu, pull yourself together now." I said to myself, but I didn't hear myself.
I sniffed and grabbed my uniform and quickly put it, and my haori back . The cuts were still bleeding so i quickly wiped them with cloth but i didn't have firm for much else. It was just enough so they wouldn't bleed out of my sleeves. The infirm rubbing against my cuts was extremely irritating, but i can't focus on myself right now. It's not important.

I dreaded going outside but luckily, he wasn't there. He must have gone..... I don't want Kocho to find out, but he's probably gonna try to drag me there anyway. Does he not take a hint that right now, I don't wanna see him?

---

I arrived just before the master came, nobody batted and eye to me though. We all bowed upon the Master and began discussing the usual stuff. All I could think about was that's what if Shinazugawa was waiting outside to take me? Fuck fuck...

Before I knew it the meeting was over. As soon as the master left i sprinted. I was looking all over for Shinazugawa when -

Somebody grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. It was him... "Giyuu, please." I saw his lips move into those words.

"What." I said. And to my surprise, I was looking at his lips waiting for his response? Why didn't i get out of there quickly?

"Giyuu, I won't take you to shinobu, if you come to my estate."

I was shocked. Just what did he want from me? But it was either Kocho or Him, so , who was better?
"I-" before so could speak he pulled my haori and dragged me out. Why wasn't I running away? Why couldn't I be angry right now? After everything he did to me.... Why am I allowing this? We're the other Hashiras going to say something? No, they weren't even around right now. But his estate isn't far from the Hashira Meeting area, so we arrived before I knew it. He was dragging me inside but I couldn't see his face. What if he was saying something? What was he doing?

"Sit....." He said when he turned around to me.
Great, the person who bullied me every day now wants to act friendly?

"Sit or i'll take you to Kocho..."

I sat down. No way I would let her know...

I watched Shinazugawa go into another room and come out with some bandages and swabs. Yep, this bitch was trying to act like he cared about me. He sat next to me and pulled up my sleeves. Shit shit, some of the cuts were still bleeding. He took the swab and wiped all of the blood.

-- Why was I staying in his estate? Was he seriously doing this right now? And he looks angry, but he wasn't shouting or saying anything.....

He then wrapped the bandages around my arms and pulls down my sleeves. Please tell me this akward shit didn't happen right now....

"Don't do it again..." His lips read. Was this his way of saying "Yh sorry for bullying you ever since i saw you but now I care about you.."?

I was here for too long, so i really need to get the fuck out of here. But when I tried to leave he grabbed my shoulder again. AGAIN. can you belive this bitch?

"Wait, Don't let your arms get wet.." I read from his lips. Was that all? really.... I turned and took another step but he stood up and guess what, grabbed my shoulder AGAIN. oh my god....

"Wait, please. I mean it , I'm really sorry for everything... I didn't know you were deaf, but that's not excuse. I'm so sorry Giyuu... "

--he was using my first name ? I said nothing.

"I won't leave you alone untill you forgive me." He said again. That is fun.... I didn't know what to say so I just walked out of His estate. Why did I stay there? Why did I let him take care of my Cuts? He doesn't understand that somebody he bullied, fought with, pushed to the ground and made fun of does NOT want to forgive him over night. How can I forgive him? Ever since I became a 'Hashira' I had no friends. And was made fun of every single day. How can he just try to make up for it with some words?

Words can not make up for what I went through..