what if we happened

10. Comparison

Chapter 10: Comparison

Seren

Pilit kong iwinaksi sa isipan ko 'yong araw na nakita kong may kasamang ibang babae si Elias. The following days, ipinagpatuloy namin ni Viviana na sunduin si Thalia sa building nila, pero ang totoo, gusto ko lang masilayan si Elias. It had become our routine habang papalapit na ang graduation; I needed to make the most of it.

Elias never changed. Although hindi na nasundan 'yong pag-uusap namin sa chat, ningingitian pa rin niya ako kapag nagtatagpo mga mata namin sa isa't isa, pero palaging nababawi 'yong kilig ko kapag nakikita kong sinasabayan niya sa paglalakad 'yong babaeng hindi ko talaga makilala. I thought this was my chance, yet always finding him with someone else. Akala ko malapit na loob namin sa isa't isa pero pakiramdam ko, lumaki pa 'yong distansya sa pagitan namin. That was when I started to worry about the girl. Something felt wrong. Hindi nagtagal, napansin na rin 'yon ng mga kaibigan ko.

"Huy, Seren! Nandyan ka pala. Magandang hapon!" nakangiting bati sa akin ni Elias noong nandito ulit kami sa building nila, muntikan niya pa ako lagpasan dahil sa pagmamadali niya. Mag-isa lang siya, hindi niya kasama mga kaibigan niya. He also greeted Viviana, who was beside me.

Pero wtf, Seren?

Mali ba ako ng narinig? Why did he call me Seren?

Asaan ang 'Aking Salome'? The one that held a deeper meaning for us both. Was I overthinking this? Was there a reason he wasn't using my usual name? Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng dismaya at kaunting kaba sa hindi niya pagtawag sa akin ng 'Salome', even though I had actually disliked being called that before. It was just so confusing. I wondered if our clossness shifting or if something had changed between us. Nabigla ako na iba na ang tawag niya sa akin.

I pushed aside my thoughts, I kept my emotions hidden.

"Hi!" I greeted back. "Have you seen Thalia?"

He stood there for a few moments for me. Tumango siya. "Oo, naglalakad na siya. Papunta na rin 'yon dito. Papensya na, Seren. Una na ako, ah. Ingat sa pag-uwi!" he said in rush. He didn't wait for me to say anything.

Seren na naman.

Before he could leave, I caught a glimpse of the necklace he was wearing. It was simple but elegant, with a small silver pendant. 'S' ang nakalagay. I felt a sudden jolt. Isinawang bahala ko 'yong pagtawag niya sa akin gamit ang second name ko at nakahinga ako nang maluwag dahil sa initial na 'yon. Sa loob-loob ko, was it for me?

Think about it, wala naman initial na letter 'S' sa pangalan ni Elias pero dalawa ang initials ko na ganoon. Hindi ko napansin na namula na 'yong pisngi ko dahil sa iniisip ko. I had always dreamed of something like this, a sign that maybe he felt the same way. I'm still hopeful.

"Vebs, nakita mo ba 'yong kuwintas ni Elias? May letter 'S' sa pendant niya!" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko kay Viviana habang nakasunod pa rin ang paningin ko kay Elias na nagmamadaling maglakad palayo.

Viviana continued to look at other students passing by. "Hindi, eh. Naghahanap kasi ako ng pogi. Ilang araw na tayong nandito, bakit ang chachaka pa rin?"

"Vebs, ayan na naman 'yong babae," I whispered. Wala sa sariling nalaglag ang balikat ko. Sa isang iglap, nabura ang ngiti ko.

"Ha?" Viviana quickly looked in the direction I was staring.

From the far end of the hallway, that girl I find irritating walked toward Elias. She was all smile as she greeted him, her arm slipping through his as they continued walking. Napatulala ako. May pagano'n na? Nagsimula silang mag-usap na sila lang dalawa ang nakakaalam. Hindi ko maiwasang makaramdam ng paninikip ng dibdib. The way Elias looked at her was now different. Mas genuine. Mas sweet. Kaya pala siya nagmamadali kanina, because someone was waiting for him. I get it.