what if we happened

35. It Wasn't Love

Chapter 35: It Wasn't Love

Seren

Nanlulumo ako sa sitwasyon na inilagay ng mundo kay Viviana. Wala akong ibang maramdaman kung hindi ang awa para sa kaniya. It literally breaks my heart. How I wish I could carry her pain.

Morning light spilled through the curtains. Dawn arrived, but we were still stuck in yesterday.

We'd stayed by Viviana's side all night. No one really left the room. Bawat galaw niya ay sinisilip namin. Takot kaming baka bigla siya muling umiyak.

My friends also tried to sleep, but it was impossible. No matter how hard we closed our eyes, our minds wouldn't quiet down. Pare-pareho kaming mulat at nakatulala hanggang sa hindi namin namamalayan ang oras. Kahit wala nang tinig ng pag-iyak sa loob ng kuwarto, ramdam pa rin sa hangin ang bigat at kakaibang lungkot.

At some point, I messaged my parents. Told them I was spending the night at Anais' place. I didn't want them to worry but I didn't mention the reason why I am here.

Agad-agad kong itinunghay ang ulo ko nang mahagip ng aking paningin ang pagbukas ni Viviana ng kaniyang mga mata. Her eyes were still red and swollen from crying.

Siniko ko ang mga kaibigan ko.

"Gusto ko nang umuwi," was the first thing that came out of her mouth. "Promise me," she added with sigh, her gaze flicking from one of us to the other. "Huwag ninyong sasabihin kina Mommy at Daddy about sa nangyari. I don't want them to know. I don't want them to worry. Please, huwag na natin palakihin pa 'to."

Nagkatinginan kami ng mga kaibigan ko, each of us trying to read the other's thoughts without saying a word. I could see the hesitation in their eyes. It wasn't just about respecting Viviana's wishes, it was about what felt right and what felt safe.

Thalia was the first to speak, uncomfortable with the idea. "They are your parents. Karapatan nilang malaman kung kumusta ang anak nila kaya dapat sasabihin mo pa rin sa kanila ang lahat ng nangyari. Huwag mong itago. Mas mabuti na iyong aware sila. Alam nila ang best for you at alam din nila ang dapat maging action."

Napatango-tango kami ni Anais sa sinabi niya.

But Viviana shook her head. "I can't. Kilala ko sila. Ayaw kong dumagdag pa sa isipin nila. Baka mapasama lang ako."

"Kapag ready ka na lang," Anais said gently. She knew how to say the right thing without forcing it. "Sure, maiintindihan ka rin naman nila. Hindi mo kailangang madaliin. We'll be here."

Viviana looked down. She wasn't nodding, she wasn't arguing either. "But for now, atin-atin muna 'to, please?"

"Promise," I said.

She wasn't ready to tell them, and we had to respect that. We wanted to protect her but keeping something like this a secret, it didn't sit right with all of us. Ibang usapan na kapag kasama ang parents.

Thalia leaned in. "Do you want to eat something first?" she asked. "Maybe some breakfast?"

Tipid na umiling si Viviana. "Hindi na. I just want to go home."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Hindi ka gutom?"

"Gutom pero wala akong gana. I want to be alone this time."

"You should eat, vebs," Anais said, concern plain in her voice. "Kahit kaunti lang."

Viviana took a deep breath. "Sa bahay na lang."

Wala na kaming nagawa. Pumayag na lang kami sa kagustuhan niya. Si Anais ang nag-drive ng kotse patungo sa bahay ni Viviana. The car ride was suffocatingly quiet. No one really spoke. Ang tanging naririnig namin ay ang humuhugong na makina ng sasakyan at ang mabababaw, mabibigat na paghinga naming apat.