what if we happened

27. I Miss You

Chapter 27: I Miss You

Seren

"Ayos ka lang ba?" malambot na tanong ni Elias sa akin noong pagkaupo niya sa tabi ko. Napakurap-kurap tuloy ako. I didn't even realize I had been staring off into nothing until I heard him speak. Napalingon ako sa kaniya. "Kanina pa parang tulala. Hindi ka rin masyadong kumikibo. Hindi ka ganyan. May problema ba?"

I forced a smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

His brow furrowed in concern. "Hindi ako naniniwala."

"I'm just thinking about random stuff," I mumbled, shaking my thoughts in his sight.

His eyes are not leaving mine. He knew something was off. "Kagaya ng?"

I shrugged. "It's nothing, hindi ganoon kaimportante pero ayos lang ako," pagsisinungaling ko na lang at huminga nang malalim.

The truth was, I was struggling with something I hadn't told anyone, not even him. Hindi ko na kasama mga kaibigan ko ngunit 'yong napag-usapan namin ay naiwan sa isipan ko. Pinoproblema ko hanggang ngayon kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ng mga mahahalagang tao sa buhay ko kapag sinabi ko sa kanila na education ang balak kong kunin ngayong college instead of nursing like they are all expected. It felt right to me, but I was terrified of how everyone would take it. Even Elias, I wasn't sure how he would react to that. Lalo pa't siya ang nakapagtulak sa akin para mag-reconsider. Mas mahalaga iyon kaysa sa confession na challenge ni Anais sa akin.

"Tinuturukan na ba sina Dilim at Gabi?" pag-iiba ko.

"Oo, nasa loob na sila," he replied with a small nod. "Siguro patapos na rin, hindi naman ganoon katagal 'yon."

Hindi na ako nagsalita pa at ganoon din siya, but I could tell he was waiting for me to open up, to say something—anything that would explain why I was so distant. He was patient.

We were in the lobby of the veterinary clinic, waiting for Dilim and Gabi to finish their shots. Sumandal ako at sinubukang ilihis muna ang atensyon ko sa ibang bagay. It wasn't that I didn't trust Elias with what was on my mind, but I just didn't have the strength to talk about it with him yet.

Inilibot ko ang paningin sa buong paligid, may mga aso't pusa kaming kasama na katabi ang kanilang mga amo sa waiting area and they are all so cute. "May pupuntahan pa ba tayo after nito?" I asked him.

He tilted his head slightly and looked at me with a small smile. "May gusto ka pa bang puntahan?"

"Gusto kong kumain," I lied. My stomach wasn't asking for food at all. I wasn't hungry.

"Sige, hanap tayo ng makakainan mamaya sa bahay."

"Sa bahay," dagdag ko na ikinalito niya. "I actually just want to go home, Elias."

Kita ko ang pagkurba pababa ng labi niya. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isipan ko kung bakit parang nagyayaya na akong umuwi. "Pero wala pang isang oras tayong magkasama, uuwi na agad tayo?"

I frowned. "Sorry."

"Hindi! Ayos lang. Kung gusto mo nang umuwi pagkatapos, walang problema sa akin. Mahalaga, nagkita tayo ngayong araw. Kumpleto na ako."

I didn't want to disappoint him or make him think I didn't enjoy spending time with him because I did, more than anything. Pero kasi kailangan ko muna mag-isip-isip at baka hindi rin namin ma-enjoy ang gala namin ngayon kung ganito ako. "Sorry ulit. I just want to lay down on my bed and rest. I promise it's not because I don't want to hang out with you. I just don't feel great right now. I need to be by myself."

"Ayos lang, naiintindihan ko. Hintayin lang natin sina Dilim at Gabi, ihahatid na kita pauwi."

"Hindi ka ba magtatampo?"