Silent Reckonings [Yord Fandar x OC]

Chapter 15

Elara and Yord grappled with the aftermath of their intimate encounter, their emotions a turbulent mix of guilt and confusion. As Jedi, they were bound by a code that allowed for sexual intimacy but frowned upon it, particularly between a master and a padawan. The relationship between them was not simply about physical desire; it delved deeper, stirring feelings neither had anticipated.

For Yord, the feelings went beyond mere attraction. The nights were sleepless as he found himself haunted by thoughts of Elara—wondering what she was doing, how she was, and yearning for her presence. Every time he saw her in the hallways, his gaze lingered, betraying a longing he could barely control. His desire for her was more than just physical; it was an emotional craving that unsettled him. He wanted to be near her, to have her hands on him, to share his life with her. What he once thought was fleeting admiration now felt like a persistent and unwanted attachment.

The experience of their intimacy had left him in a state of denial. He had tried to find solace through self-pleasure, but it could not compare to what he had shared with Elara. The pleasure was undeniable, but it was accompanied by a profound sense of connection that he struggled to understand. Was it attachment? The very idea made him uncomfortable, as attachment was explicitly forbidden by the Jedi Code. He ran his fingers through his locs, trying to clear his mind, but the persistent thoughts of Elara refused to fade.

Yord's internal conflict was growing more intense. The more he tried to suppress his feelings, the more they seemed to surface, making his duty as a Jedi increasingly difficult. The emotional weight of their encounter was a constant reminder of the line they had crossed—a line that was meant to keep their personal desires in check and their focus solely on their duties.

He decided to avoid Elara, believing that distance might help him process his feelings. He recognized the urgency in her desire to talk, but he felt overwhelmed by the storm of emotions inside him. He needed time to think clearly and sort through the turmoil that their intimate encounter had stirred.

Over the following days, Yord made a conscious effort to steer clear of Elara. He immersed himself in his duties, focusing on training his padawan and managing his responsibilities. He took long, solitary walks around the Temple grounds, seeking solace in the quiet surroundings and attempting to regain his composure.

Each time he saw Elara, he felt a pang of guilt and sadness. He knew she was likely struggling with their situation as much as he was. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to face her, fearing that a conversation might only complicate matters further. His avoidance was not out of a lack of care or affection but rather a desperate attempt to sort through his own conflicting emotions.

In the solitude of his quarters, Yord grappled with his thoughts, reflecting on their time together and the implications of their actions. The Jedi Code forbade attachment, yet he found himself unable to shake the profound connection he felt with Elara. The emotional distance he was trying to maintain was as much a struggle for him as it was for her, but he hoped that, in time, he would find clarity and the strength to address the situation more openly.

•••

Master Norin approached Yord, his expression serious yet composed. He addressed Yord with a tone that brooked no argument.

"Yord, I've decided it would be beneficial for Elara to engage in a series of lightsaber duels today. I've arranged for her to face several Jedi Masters in the room, each challenging her in turn to push her skills and resilience. You will be the last to duel with her."

Yord, caught off guard, looked at Master Norin with a mix of surprise and concern. "Are you sure this is the best approach, Master Norin? Elara has been struggling lately. I'm concerned that the additional pressure might not be beneficial."

Master Norin's gaze was firm but understanding. "It's precisely because of her struggles that she needs this challenge. Engaging with different opponents will test her adaptability and resolve. I trust you to help her push through her limits. Sometimes, a different perspective can reignite a struggling spirit."

Yord nodded, accepting the task despite his reservations. "Understood, Master Norin. I'll do my best."

As Master Norin returned to oversee Elara's training, Yord watched her from a distance, silently preparing himself for the duel ahead. He knew this would be a crucial moment for Elara, and despite his personal conflicts, he was determined to support her in overcoming her current challenges.