Trial And Error

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Kian's POV

Kian's leg bounced rhythmically as she sat in Dr. Davis's waiting room, a sense of déjà vu washing over her. Madison's reassuring presence beside her provided some comfort, but it couldn't completely quell the nervous energy coursing through her body. The stark white walls and the faint scent of antiseptic brought back memories of her previous visits, solo ventures into the realm of her psyche.

This time was different. Kian's relationship with therapy had evolved; what was once a source of apprehension had become something she approached with cautious anticipation. In the wake of the red carpet incident, she had opened up to Dr. Davis during their regular session. Recognizing the layered complexity of the situation, the therapist had proposed a joint session with Madison. The prospect of sharing this intimate, vulnerable space with her girlfriend stirred a mix of excitement and trepidation in Kian.

Being vulnerable with Dr. Davis was one thing - the therapist was a professional, someone Kian didn't have to face in her daily life. But Madison... that was an entirely different matter. While Kian had certainly shown vulnerability to Madison before, this felt like uncharted territory. This session would involve peeling back layers, exposing her raw thought processes, her true feelings during the event. It might even necessitate delving into her experiences in Afghanistan, a topic Kian had carefully avoided discussing in depth with Madison.

The thought of revealing that part of herself to Madison sent a shiver of uncertainty through Kian. She wasn't sure if she was prepared to see those eyes she loved so much filled with pity or, worse, horror at what she had experienced. The fear of changing how Madison saw her weighed heavily on Kian's mind.

As they sat waiting, Kian's gaze drifted to Madison's profile. Her girlfriend's presence was both comforting and nerve-wracking. Kian took a deep breath, reminding herself why they were here. This was about growth, about strengthening their relationship. If they were going to build a future together, transparency was crucial, no matter how difficult it might be.

The office door opened, and Dr. Davis appeared with her usual warm smile. "Kian, Ms. Barnes please come in," she invited.

Madison stepped forward, extending her hand. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Dr. Davis."

"Likewise, Ms. Barnes," Dr. Davis replied, her eyes brightening. "I hope you don't mind, but I feel compelled to mention that I'm quite a fan of your music. I wanted to express that before we begin our session."

"Thank you so much! It always means a lot to me when I meet fans. And please, Madison is fine. Ms. Barnes makes me feel so old."

They all laughed knowing full well the popstar was still in her early twenties.

"Madison it is, then." Her expression then shifted to a more professional demeanor as they settled into their seats. "Now, before we start, I'd like to establish some guidelines for our session. This is a safe space for both of you," she explained, her voice gentle yet authoritative.

"Kian, you have full control over what you choose to share here. Madison, your primary role is to listen and understand. However, you're welcome to contribute your thoughts or ask questions at appropriate moments, either during the session or towards the end. Is this clear to both of you?"

"I... I want to address what happened at the event. My reaction, the impact it had on us, and..." she paused, swallowing hard, "...why I reacted the way I did."

Dr. Davis nodded encouragingly. "That's a great starting point. Can you walk us through what you were feeling in that moment?"

Kian's gaze dropped to her lap, her voice quieter now. "When I saw Nathan approaching, everything just... shifted. It was like I was back there, in Afghanistan. The noise, the chaos... it all came rushing back. I didn't see Nathan anymore. I saw a threat, and my only thought was protecting Madison."