Trial And Error

Chapter Forty-Three

Kian's POV

Kian tapped her fingers anxiously on the steering wheel, staring at the clock. Her therapy appointment was meant to start five minutes ago, but she had been parked outside the building for thirty minutes now. She couldn't bring herself to get out of the safe bubble of her car and walk inside, where she would have to open up to a stranger. But she also couldn't just drive away, breaking her promise to Madison.

Kian's hands trembled with the stress, a recurring symptom since her return from Afghanistan. What once only happened after nightmares now plagued her consistently whenever she felt those emotions. Her spiraling thoughts were interrupted by her ringing phone.

"Are you okay Kian?" Madison's soft voice brought some relief to her tense shoulders.

"Yeah, just running a little bit late."

"They called me Kian, told me you've been there for a while. What's wrong?"

Kian sighed, "I can't do it Madison."

"Unlock the door."

"What?"

A knock on the window made Kian jump, nearly dropping her phone. There she was, her savior dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie. Kian ended the call and unlocked the door, allowing Madison to slide into the passenger seat.

"What are you doing here?" Kian puzzled as to why they called Madison and how they even got her number.

"The office called me when you didn't come in," Madison explained gently. "I was already nearby."

Kian tensed slightly. "Have you been watching me this whole time?"

"No, just the last ten minutes after they phoned," Madison reassured.

Comprehension dawned on Kian. "You put yourself as my emergency contact, didn't you?"

Madison gave a sheepish nod. "I just wanted to be here if you needed me."

Kian's head fell against the headrest, her walls going up. "You can't come running to save me every time I'm in trouble"

"I told you I'd be here for you."

Stubborn and ashamed, Kian glared out the window at the building, hands trembling as she tightened them into fists.

"Look at me, Kian," Madison implored gently. "You'll be okay, I promise."

Kian bit back the urge to snap. 'How do you know?' She knew if she voiced that thought, it would come out harsh and biting. So instead, she just nodded silently, forcibly pushing down her doubts and insecurities.

She couldn't fail Madison again, not after everything. Kian owed it to her to at least try going into the appointment, despite the dread churning within her. More importantly, she owed it to herself.

"I don't know how to do this, to open myself up. It's not something that comes naturally to me,"

"I know, and no one expects you to have this all figured out already," Madison reassured. "Dr. Davis is one of the best in her field. I'm sure there are other veterans who struggle with their first appointments too. She'll know what to do."

Kian simply gazed into Madison's eyes for a moment, processing her reassuring words and the logic behind them. The brunette was right, as she often was.

"You're right," Kian said after a moment

The pair exited the vehicle, with Madison staying right by Kian's side as they entered the sleek glass office building. The short elevator ride up to the therapist's office was tense, the weight of the impending appointment settling heavily on Kian's shoulders. But the second Madison's small hand slipped comfortingly into hers, some of the tension eased. That simple touch grounded her, keeping her present.