Trial And Error

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kian's POV

She broke. The moment Kian stepped into that house she knew she would. Kian couldn't help it, not when the brunette was watching her every move with sadness and worry in her eyes. It pained her knowing that she was the cause for the singer's anguish. Because she was weak when it came to Madison.

A big part of her knew that it was a mistake letting Madison back in again. Keeping this secret took such an emotional toll on both of them. But the weaker part knew she had to because nothing was working.

Sparring, working out, training - had become pointless. The once effective distractions were deemed useless because her mind was plagued with Madison. Not having her in her life was pure torture, especially when she was a short ten-minute drive away. Kian wondered how and what she was doing. She felt like a corpse waking up every morning feeling empty

Kian thought buying a motorcycle would somehow make her feel alive again. She had hoped the adrenaline rush she received from speeding down highways and dark narrow roads would somehow help. It had at first, but like boxing it faded.

Then there was the drinking. The once calming and numbing effect had disappeared. Instead, it only intensified the excruciating pain from complete isolation. Being around Madison again stirred up intense emotions.

Now, just days after reconnecting at the dinner, Kian was two days away from meeting Madison at their favorite cafe. They hadn't been since before Kian's deployment. Madison was clearly excited, texting nonstop about the upcoming lunch. Kian was apprehensive at first but knew declining would raise suspicions. Part of her wanted to make an excuse to get out of it. But she knew if she declined or canceled, it would only raise Madison's suspicions further.

As difficult as it was sure to be, Kian realized she had to push through the swirling emotions and actually show up. This lunch was the next small step in her attempt to slowly let Madison back into her life, while still keeping her walls up. It would be a delicate balance, but she owed it to Madison to try.

What started as an afternoon drive through Hollywood hills to clear her head, turned into a late-night excursion for Kian. She ended up at a scenic overlook, gazing out at the lights of L.A. below. The cool night air and expansive city view temporarily eased her swirling anxieties.

The rumble of a familiar engine pulled up beside her. Lucas rolled down his window, flashing a smile. "Couldn't find you at home or the gym, figured this was my next best bet," he explained, getting out leaning on his car. "We didn't get a chance to really talk the other night. How're you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Kian replied automatically.

"Don't lie to me Kian."

Kian bristled initially at the confrontation, her defenses on high alert. But she calmed down once her mind realized this was Lucas, she could talk to him.

She sighed sitting next to him, "I'm struggling a little bit. But it's nothing I can't handle."

"Is your way of handling things buying death traps on wheels? Cause I gotta say, that's not really a good sign."

The raven-haired woman let out a small laugh, "I'll let you take it out for a ride you'll see the appeal."

"Are you kidding? Olivia would kill me!" He joked letting a laugh of his own out

"I guess it's a good thing I don't have to worry about that kind of thing then."

"I wouldn't say that. I got an ear full after you left my house the other night. The other two would not stop telling me the stunts you've pulled while I've been away."