Trial And Error

Chapter Sixty-Two

Madison's POV

Dinner passed in a gentle quiet, takeout containers slowly emptying as they both took measured bites. Madison watched Kian pushing her lo mein around with her chopsticks, noting the slight tremor in her hands, the way her jaw would clench and unclench as if physically holding back words. The weight of what was to come hung in the air between them, as tangible as the steam rising from their food.

Madison felt her own nervousness coiling in her stomach, a complicated mix of honor at being trusted with Kian's story and fear of how she would handle it. She'd imagined this moment before, in the dark of night when Kian's nightmares woke them both, during therapy sessions when Kian would skirt around certain topics. Now that it was actually happening, she wondered how she would react. Would she cry? Would rage bubble up inside her at the thought of what had been done to her girlfriend. Would she be overwhelmed by the instinct to somehow fix it all, to kiss away the pain as that alone could heal such deep wounds?

They settled into their usual evening routine like actors following a familiar script - loading the dishwasher, debating what to watch, Kian's arm automatically lifting for Madison to curl into her side on the couch. They watched some mindless action movie, neither really following the plot. Madison found herself instead focusing on the steady rhythm of Kian's heartbeat under her ear, the occasional kiss pressed to her hair, the way Kian's fingers would sometimes tighten around her as if making sure she was still there.

Their conversation drifted through safer topics - Madison's latest recording session, a funny text from Lucas, the new coffee shop opening down the street. But beneath the normalcy ran an undercurrent of anticipation, like the electric charge in the air before a storm.

As the evening wound down, they moved through their bedtime routine with practiced ease. Madison watched Kian's reflection in the bathroom mirror as they brushed their teeth side by side, noting how her girlfriend's eyes would occasionally meet hers in the glass, full of things yet unsaid. The domestic simplicity of the moment - sharing counter space, bumping elbows, Madison stealing Kian's t-shirt to sleep in - felt especially precious tonight, knowing what was to come.

Once in bed, Madison turned off her bedside lamp but left Kian's on, creating a soft pool of light around them. She settled against the headboard, drawing her knees up to her chest, and waited. The ball was in Kian's court now - she would begin when she was ready.

"Where do you want me to start?" Kian's voice was quiet but steady, her hand finding Madison's in the dim light.

Madison laced their fingers together, squeezing gently. "Wherever you need to. I'm here for all of it."

Kian's thumb traced invisible patterns across Madison's palm, each movement a silent anchor to the present as she forced herself to delve into memories she'd fought so hard to bury. Her voice emerged rough, barely above a whisper. "It was supposed to be routine patrol..." The words caught in her throat. "Just another day. Then we hit an IED without warning. One second I'm watching the mountains, the next—" She closed her eyes, the explosion replaying behind her eyelids. "The blast knocked us all out. Holland... god, I'm guessing Holland went flying from his position on the Humvee like a ragdoll."

"IED?" Madison's voice wavered, though she tried to keep it steady for Kian's sake.

"Improvised explosive device." Kian's jaw clenched so tight Madison could see the muscle jumping. "I came to first. Everything was ringing, burning. Got everyone mobile, started searching for Holland. When we found him—" Her breath hitched. "They hit us with an RPG. Probably drawn by the first explosion. Like sharks to blood in the water."

She paused, gathering herself. "The real nightmare was trying to reach the landing zone. This mountain... this fucking mountain. Holland unconscious, bleeding out. Murray takes a round to the leg. I tried reaching him..." She guided their joined hands to her shoulder, where the scar tissue formed a twisted map of that day's horror. "Caught one myself."