Summer Nights (RE-WRITTEN)

10

A:N This story includes themes of mental health and eating disorders, please only read if you feel ready too, you are beautiful always x

I swallow the harsh lump in my throat when I stare intently at the grade for my first assignment. I failed. I tried so incredibly hard and I failed. And I wasn't someone who failed often and I don't mean for that to come across in a patronising way but school was somewhere that I thrived especially in any kind of creative subject.

My eyebrows furrow together as I look at my tutor, "I failed?"

She nods, "Your drawing was too fairly-like for my taste."

I falter, "But this assignment was supposed to be a piece that represents me, I feel as if this colour-scheme and drawing style is what does this best. And I profusely apologise for arguing against you and I promise you I don't mean to cause any disrespect."

"You clearly have talent but that isn't enough here. I need you to go the extra mile."

"I thought that I did." I whisper, my voice cracking.

"You thought wrong. And if you are someone who takes criticism this harshly, maybe this place isn't for you. I see that you spoke with your academic advisor about a change in circumstances."

I let out a shaky breath, "I did."

She crosses her arms, "There's a reason why I never had children, they are a distraction. If you truly want to make it, you can't have distractions."

I flinch at her words, "I don't think that's an appropriate thing to say."

"I won't sugar-coat things to you."

...

I hug my pillow as I nestle on the sofa, the weight of my tutors words sitting heavily on my chest.

"You look troubled." Rocky comments as he looks up from his video game.

He decided that the way to cope with his newfound boredom during his recovery period was to buy a games console.

"I'm fine."

"Remember our promise?"

I sigh loudly, "My tutor was really harsh to me. She implied that I either had to chose between becoming an artist and having children."

Rocky sits up straight and pauses his game, "She fucking what?"

I wince at the venom in his voice, "Not them words exactly."

"Recite for me word for word, what she said."

So that's exactly what I do.

"Well she didn't fucking imply it, she said it. It isn't in her jurisdiction to say shit like that."

I shrug nimbly, "Maybe she's right, maybe I need to pause the whole art school thing. I've failed an assignment already and I haven't even had the baby yet."

"Look, if you want to take some time off to figure out what you want then you do that. But don't let some bitch stop you from chasing what you want because you're fucking talented. And I don't say that lightly, you know I hate giving out compliments, it makes me feel sick."

My heart flips dramatically, "I know you hate giving them out, so I won't mention how much it means to me, to hear that you think I'm talented."

"Good because I'll start gagging."

"I don't want to be here anymore." I confess as I sniffle, "I want to go home."

His expression softens, "If you want to go home then there's no shame in it, you can still go to art school somewhere closer to home. I mean New York is only a train ride away. But I just don't want you to go home because some bitch doesn't know what actual art is."

I let out a watery laugh, "She has a art degree and she's been showcased in a gallery."

"Then I'm even more appalled that she's so shit at recognising proper art."

"I just don't know. I've been here for nearly two months, I've not made a single friend. I'm recently pregnant, you're going to leave me soon and I'm going to have to deal with everything on my own. Or I could go home and have support around me, I just don't know what the right choice is for me."

"Like I said the other day, just because Paris isn't the right choice for you now, doesn't mean that it will never be. You can always come back."

"I think I need to go home. God forbids something goes wrong whilst your overseas, I'm going to be alone."

Rocky's face pales, "I didn't even think of something going wrong."

"I'm so sorry, I should have never said that. I don't want to put any negative thoughts into the universe, it's just my anxiety it plays at me."

...

I brace myself for my dad and Brooke's reaction when I announce to tell that I'll be returning home.

Brooke let's out a sigh of relief, "I must say honey, it makes me feel a lot better knowing that you're going to be here. I hated the thought of you going through this pregnancy on your own. I've been looking for cheap flights to Paris none stop."

My dad shakes his head, "You're an idiot Scarlett."

I blink at his harshness as tears form in my eyes, "Dad."

"I'm sorry but someone had to said it. You've gotten yourself pregnant by someone who aren't even in a relationship with and now you're giving up your opportunity to attend an art school in Paris."

Brooke gives me a hard look, "Gary. I'm so disappointed in you right now."

"You can't possibly think she's smart for this?"

"I think she's a young woman who can make her own choices and as her parents, we are there to support them."

I swallow the lump in my throat, "I've contacted a few art schools in New York and sent them over my portfolio. I...I can still achieve my dream, it just looks a little different now."

"And how is being an artist going to financially support a child?"

I jump as I watch my laptop screen being shut, I peer up to see Rocky standing over me with an unreadable expression.

"I'm sorry but I couldn't just sit there and listen to that anymore. I know he's your dad but he's a complete tool."

I shrug weakly, "I don't know anymore."

"I know, okay? I know. I also know that you're going to get into all of the schools you applied too. And I know you're art is going to be in some gallery someday."

My heart flips and I feel warmth for the first time today, his words felt like a hug that I was craving.

A strangled sob leaves my lips, "I know you're going to hate me for saying this but I'm really going to miss you when you leave."

His face falls, "I know."

"Some days it feels like you're my only friend in the entire world."

He shifts on his crutches, "I got a bunch of random games when I ordered the console. The sims was included in that, I know you used to love playing that when we were kids."

I perk up dramatically as I gape at him, "You've got the sims?"

He nods painfully, "I do."

I quickly bolt onto my feet, "And you're just telling me this now!"