chasing girl wonder

meltingly tender; hurry slowly

"It was boring. She was boring—or maybe she was bored." Yeri recounted her date with Lisa while absorbed in cleaning the heels of her Christian Louboutin So Kate black pumps using wet ones.

Hiding a smile, only Roseanne knew how Lisa never shut up when she was with her. Well, maybe last night was an exception when both of them knowingly understood words were not needed to fill the silence. Or for her not to say too much and let Lisa have her moment. They were getting good again. They did not notice the time had flown by while they were seated in comfortable silence for almost two hours. But Roseanne noticed how happy Lisa looked gazing heavenward, her eyes holding more constellations than the ordinary night sky.

"Chaeyoung, I thought," Lisa's sparkling eyes remained fixed above them, "being happy was jumping around, laughing heartily, shouting, and—I don't know—involving so much light?"

Roseanne gazed at Lisa's side profile. She saw it in Lisa's eyes—around those dark brown orbs—a light was getting in, the bags under them fading, the creases smoothening, and the dark circles relieved from any burdens. Mentally, she cried, God, I wish Lisa was always this happy. And healing.

"But tonight, I think... I could tell I'm happy. I'm just," Lisa paused, stretching the corners of her lips into a full smile. She gushed, and her shoulders relaxed. "I'm just sitting here with you, and uhhh, I feel like I'm fucking flying."

Mouth curving into a smile, Roseanne stayed quiet so as not to interrupt Lisa's moment.

"I mean," Lisa sat up, clasping her hands and resting her lips on her thumbs momentarily. Gradually, she turned her head toward Roseanne and said, "The moon didn't even show up tonight. But maaaaan, I don't give a damn."

Roseanne chuckled, her eyes getting teary. She curled her hands and wrapped her arms around her waist, in need of something to squeeze to release the overwhelming feelings of joy, elation, contentment, and peace bursting in her chest.

"I feel a little less torn inside with you, you know that?" Lisa scrunched her brows. "It's the first time I, uhm, didn't want to run away from my life," Lisa said, chuckling to herself. "I guess it matters so much to me that there's at least one person who'd love to wear my hoodie," Lisa said, causing Roseanne to giggle briefly. "Seriously, I don't need you to—to be a fucking sunshine for me." Sighing, she leaned back with her hands behind her and brought her face up toward the sky once more. "If it's not too much to ask... I'd want you—need you to just stand in the rain with me."

The warmth that ensconced Roseanne's heart upon hearing those words felt like getting showered by the early morning sugar dust with the smell of freshly baked bread and brewed coffee for company. Lisa had no clue how it was the same for her—that Lisa's presence in her life gave her a safe haven from the people who expected her to always be a sunshine girl. "You don't have to ask."

Lisa met Roseanne's eyes and then let out a soft chortle. "You know, those four idiots—maybe Sorn too, Mingyu, Winter? Yeah, let's count that brat too. They're all—They're my fuckers."

"Mhm?" Roseanne arched an eyebrow, unsure where Lisa was trying to bring the conversation.

"Like, for life, right? It goes without saying."

"Yup. As long as you keep yelling fucks at each other, then yup. That's going to last for life," Roseanne teased, laughing together with Lisa. She folded her legs to one side and leaned on her right palm, her thumb landing accidentally on Lisa's left thumb knuckle. "Sorry," she whispered, a bit frantic that her thumb mechanically moved away and leaned flat on the hardwood.