chasing girl wonder

bring to a boil

The next morning, before the clock struck eight forty-five, Roseanne left her office to help the café during the rush hour. She was not wrong when she predicted Winter and Lisa's arrival around the same time. Lisa stayed outside just like yesterday, leaning against the post with one hand shoved inside her back pocket, smoking a stick, and watching the streets. Lisa was wearing her usual palette—a black baseball cap, a grunge grey Harley-Davidson vintage muscle tee, fitted jeans, and classic white, high-top Chucks.

Approaching the pickup counter, Karina whistled to a tune that sounded like some dreadful death march. "I always hate winter growing up."

"Now, that's an icebreaker! What atmosphere are you aiming for?" Winter said, peering at Karina judgingly.

While teaching Tzuyu how to make Winter's coffee, Roseanne could hear Karina going at it again, annoying the hell out of Winter, but it kept backfiring when Winter had nonchalant retorts that left Karina speechless.

Karina was picking a fight about Winter being such a spoiled brat for making Lisa drive her to and from culinary school. Winter hee-hawed, upsetting Karina when she further goaded that Lisa never did that to any of her girls.

Feeling guilty about how she ended their conversation the night before, Roseanne glanced at Lisa longingly, missing their conversations and touches, kisses and whispers, she was pulled to go outside and talk with Lisa, apologize, and maybe initiate some small talk to try to put things someplace more bearable—somewhere like being friends again, or at least be more civil if they would run into each other more frequently. She should not have demanded an answer from Lisa and tried to be more patient with her. It was unlikely that she would act that way, and she realized then it was because of some underlying trigger of her emotional trauma with Suzy where she needed to constantly prove she was good enough. Subconsciously, she did not want to neglect her feelings just to accommodate someone else's convenience.

When she hit the shower that morning—where logic got sprayed all over her and her bouts of anger from yesterday seemed to have gone down the drain—she was dogged to be the one to reach out to Lisa and invite her to try the guava and cheese puffs or go to the café across to taste their crème brûlée coffee, or ask when she would be available to continue their turntable research, or driving lessons, or ask about how her friends agreed with 'The Cub' for the restaurant name—or—just anything. And everything. Just like how they were. She had gotten used to knowing Lisa's days and nights, what made her sad, angry, and happy that being kept in the dark was like losing grasp of the thin thread that Lisa vulnerably allowed her to hold.

The uneasiness of having a misunderstanding with someone never felt good to her gut, especially with someone dear to her. So, she was ready to leave Tzuyu when Winter said something that hit her like a brick wall.

"Nana's a pastry chef, so that's the caliber you're up against," Winter told Karina, scratching the back of her head accompanied by an impatient huff.

Instead of her plan to go out and talk to Lisa, Roseanne backpedaled and instead, took a cup from the lined-up orders. The cup she got had Lisa's name on it. Before she started making Lisa's usual hot dirty chai latte, she contemplated writing additional notes on the cup, like 'sorry about last night' or drawing a sad bear face on it, confessing 'I miss you.' But after hearing that Nana was also a pastry chef, she felt easily dispensable. It should not even matter whatever Nana did for a living, but learning they were the same in that aspect made her suddenly unconfident—not of making baked goods but of finding the way to Lisa's impenetrable heart at the moment.

Karina's mouth fell and she was looking from Winter to Roseanne then back to Winter. "Pastry chef. That's her type then?"

"I—I—What made you say that? Why don't you just ask her? I might just be saying bullshit because you make me—you annoy me so much!" Winter curled her fingers into fists and then leaned on the pickup counter, covering her ears.